


My Beautiful Palette: Will you paint with me?

by Pink_Seashell



Series: My Beautiful Palette [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottom Na Jaemin, Boys Kissing, Cheating, Dom/sub Undertones, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Lee Jeno is Whipped, M/M, Past Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Prostitution, Public Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Sex Toys, Shower Sex, Smut, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Top Lee Jeno, Tsunderes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:54:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22262917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pink_Seashell/pseuds/Pink_Seashell
Summary: Na Jaemin works at one of the most famous strip clubs in Japan and just wants to love a guy named Lee Jeno. Unfortunately, it seems as if the entire world is against it. It's complicated. It's love.* This is [Book 2]. Please read the first book before reading this one or you will be lost.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Na Jaemin/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Series: My Beautiful Palette [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1562815
Comments: 22
Kudos: 144





	1. Chapter 1

“Fuck…” Jaemin muttered as he pinched at the bridge of his nose, no doubt, the back of his throat and nose burned.

“Are you okay?” Lucas asked as he cocked his head, a playful smile tugging on his lips as he leaned upon the cold black painted walls of the small room.

“I don’t know, it feels different from the last time. Are you sure that it’s the same stuff?” Jaemin asked as he shook his head, trying to unblock his nose. His eyes were still a bit wide, and he sniffed a few times before blinking rapidly, his long eyelashes hitting his cheekbones repeatedly. “Fuck, this really burns Xuxi.”

“Okay, but how do you feel?”

“I don’t know, it burns, but it still feels good,” Jaemin said with a small smile tugging at his lips, shifting his position on top of the washing machine. While he was trying to find the correct words, Lucas’s eyes dropped to study Jaemin’s spread thighs, his slender legs dangling over the washing machine.

“Ah seriously. Why are you so adorable?” Lucas whined as he pushed himself off of the wall and walked between Jaemin’s legs. 

The shorter was wearing his uniform, which was just a simple white buttoned-down shirt and black slacks, but it made him look so handsome. Especially with his freshly dyed light pink hair.

Jaemin winced as Lucas forcefully lifted his chin up with his hand.

“Geez, can you be a bit gentler?”

“You’re the one who wanted this, and you got it for free, again. You owe me.”

His eyes narrowed as the brown-headed man wiped the white powder from his nose, concentrating on removing any trace of it from his face. 

It wasn’t like this was the first time that they had done this, so why does he suddenly want a repayment?

The taller's eyes dropped down to Jaemin’s soft pink lips when he was nearly finished.

“Don’t worry. This was just for today; I won’t ask you again.” Jaemin hissed.

The taller smirked, placing his hands on Jaemin’s slim waist, pulling him closer to his hips. “We both know that you’re lying.”

Jaemin scowled and forcefully took the latter’s arms off of his waist, jumping off of the machine and swiftly turning towards the metal door. He always managed to bring him down into a sour mood no matter what he says. He didn’t have time for Lucas’s tricks, and he wasn’t lying.

He just needed a little push to drive him out of his thoughts; off of Jeno. 

He had thought that they finally bonded, that Jeno finally trusted him. Little by little he was able to see the tiny shards of the elder’s heart, and it made him happy. Actually, he was more than happy. He was ecstatic to be seen as someone who Jeno could trust among others.

Perhaps on that day in that bathroom he was way too pushy and the other got sick of him. The first thing that he will do if he see's him again is apologize for prying into his life. It’s like they took two steps forward and then ten steps back. Maybe he’ll come back, he hopes that he will.

But that’s just wishful thinking.

Jeno hasn’t contacted him or shown up at the Red House for a little over a month. He doesn’t know if he died, fled the country, or both.

The drugs helped. Besides, it’s not like Jaemin did an entire line, it was just enough to get him into a feel-good zone. Not completely off the rails. At what point Jaemin got drawn into Lucas, falling into his trap and losing himself, he wasn’t sure.

Maybe it was seeing him on top of the stage with his carefree smile and his black headphones pressed to his ear, jumping to the beat. Maybe it was his voice that seemed to calm him down. Then again, maybe it was the drugs that he provided to him for free.

Bright neon flashing lights came into his view as he was nearing the end of the hallway that led to the laundry room. He ran his hands through his fluffy pink hair with a small smile, feeling himself relax at the familiar view.

As soon as entered the pass-code into the electric touch pad and took a step past the doorstep to enter the floor, he was forcefully pushed back inside by someone. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a grunt as his back hit the wall hard, the sound of the door slamming shut rang in his ears.

“Ah- That fucking hurt-” Jaemin cut himself off as he opened his eyes; the brown irises of his best friend stared right back at him.

_What’s going on?_

“Na Jaemin.” Haechan fumed as he tightened his grip against the collar of his white buttoned-down shirt.

The pink-haired boy put on a big smile, not showing any signs of discomfort. “Haechan, my best friend, do you need something?”

The redhead gritted his teeth and slapped him, not holding back whatsoever, causing Jaemin’s face to snap to the side. Jaemin clenched his teeth, shutting his eyes from the pain. His cheek stung, and there was no doubt in his mind that it wasn’t red.

Haechan had a stern expression on his face, but Jaemin didn’t show any signs of nervousness.

“What the hell are you smiling for? You were just with your ex, weren’t you?!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Haechan scowled as he slammed him against the wall again, causing him to bite his lip to stop himself from groaning. “Just answer the fucking question!”

He thought through all of the different possible answers that he could have given within a few seconds. He could lie, but it was essentially pointless. He wasn’t a good liar, especially while he was high.

“Yes. I was with Lucas. Did hitting me release some pent-up aggression?” He said with a defeated sigh, a bit sarcastic.

Haechan visibly rolled his eyes, letting go of his deathly tight grip on Jaemin’s shirt as he ran his hands through his hair. “What the fuck Jaemin? Didn’t we go through this already? I told you to stop doing that!” He screeched angrily.

“It was just for this one time.” He exasperated before continuing, “Why were you waiting outside of the door anyways? Are you spying on me now?”

“Well what else am I supposed to do? You don’t answer your phone, you barely talk to me, and I don’t know what’s going on with you.” Haechan’s lower lip quivered as he stared into Jaemin’s eyes. “You need to talk to me. I know that you’re sad about Jeno, but this isn’t the way.”

“Haechanie, I’m fine, really.”

“No, you’re not fine. I’m not okay. I’m not okay with any of this Jaemin. I’m not going to force you to open up to me because I want you to do that when you’re ready but,” Haechan paused as he ran his hand through his hair aggressively, “You can’t keep doing this to yourself. You can die from this okay? Die!”

As Jaemin stared into his best friend’s eyes, he realized how much he hurt him.

Jaemin wasn’t dumb. He knows that he’s weak. He knows that he fucked up; even managing to drive away his supposed love interest, the one person who he cared so much about _twice_ within the span of a year.

But now he was hurting the one person who has always stuck by his side through it all.

He just wanted to feel happy again. To escape his thoughts, because he knows that he isn’t good enough. No one would want to love a guy like him, and he knows that. His real, true thoughts seem to catch up with him every time.

“Haechan…”

“No! Do you know how worried I am every day?”

“I’m sorry. You know that I love you right? I’m really sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”

“I’m sorry? Is that all that you can say?” He screamed as a he wiped his eyes. “You need to promise me. Promise me that you won’t go to Lucas again for drugs. Please.” He pleaded.

“I promise. It will be strictly business from now on. But I just might report you to HR for slapping me. That really fucking hurt.”

The redhead smiled, wrapping his arms around Jaemin tightly, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m sorry, okay? But if you break your promise, I’ll chop your legs off.”

He felt like an even bigger douche bag as he felt his shoulder get wet from Haechan’s tears. At that moment, he felt like he deserved that slap after all that he’s done to him.

Jaemin cupped Haechan’s slightly red cheeks from crying and made a kissing face, causing the redhead to frown and push him away.

“What the hell?”

“I knew that it was the best way to get you to stop crying, and I wanted a kiss.”

“Now give me a kiss!” Jaemin said as he walked up to Haechan, cupping his face again as the redhead pushed him away, playfully acting disgusted by the other’s puckered lips. 

He made a quick promise to himself to never make Haechan cry because of him ever again. Instead, he would like to be the cause of his smiles.

Suddenly the door to the hallway opened, causing them to stare at the intruder.

“Hey Jaemin, are you—” the man abruptly stopped with his hand still on the door handle, the tips of his ears slightly turning red. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry for interrupting. I just saw your hair and then I knew that it was you. I’ll…go. Sorry again.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Jaemin insisted as he disentangled himself from Haechan. He was slightly relieved to see his face even though the redhead hates the guy for some reason. Teasing him always brought him joy. 

Jaemin liked him since he was always the perfect target.

Mark focused his attention onto the pink-haired man, using all of his efforts to not look into Haechan’s direction.

“Can I talk to you in private, by any chance?” Mark asked as he tilted his head slightly, a slight blush taking over his cheeks.

Jaemin widened his eyes, surprised by the request. “Wow, this is so sudden! Are you finally going to confess to me?” He said with a wide smile as he walked towards him, putting his arm over Mark’s shoulder. “I accept love letters as long as they’re accompanied with chocolate.”

“Can you please be serious for at least one day.” He groaned as he pushed in the pass code, walking onto the thumping floor.

“In your dreams I'll be anything you want me to be.”

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

Rich Japanese men in business suits were in every direction, all sporting the yellow silicone wristband for the 4th floor. Ten, one of their most renowned strippers was taking the floor. He was absolutely stunning on the stage, even their richest patrons frequently came to this floor just to catch a glimpse. Many people paid over ¥100,000 to watch him perform.

The Red House was settled in Tokyo, a modern and sophisticated building. Even though it was a gay strip club, it was always packed and strangely popular among straight men and women. Luckily Jaemin only had to work on the fourth floor and not on the other floors below with the common people. There wasn’t much security and the last thing that he wanted to worry about was getting groped as he worked his long shifts.

The strippers here on this floor were just as beautiful as the decor, but untouchable. The people crowded around the stage, shouting with money clenched in their fists as the electronic music blared through the space. It was enough to make Jaemin’s head spin.

“Okay, okay. What do you need?” Jaemin asked loudly, leaning down to talk into his ear.

Mark turned his head, his breath slightly tickling Jaemin’s ear, “Can you cover for me now? I know that this is your break, but I really have to go to my parent’s house. You’ve been here for weeks, I’m sure that you can do this by yourself.”

Jaemin leaned back a bit horrified.

Tending to these customers _by himself?_ That seemed like a complete nightmare! It would have been fine if it was midnight, but it was nearing sunrise. The people that come in after 3 AM are not the regular rich clients, they’re the rich Tokyo hustlers that only come during these hours.

They’re people involved in the drug cartels that can have you killed in the snap of a finger. He was only able to find this information out through Lucas since no one else talks about them.

Just thinking about serving them for hours straight nearly had him pissing in his pants.

He abruptly dragged Mark by his arm into the nearest room, which just so happened to be the restroom. Since this was a normal occurrence, Mark was unfazed as he was pulled around the place.

There were a few customers inside, so he pulled them into a stall to have some privacy.

“Listen. I don’t know if I’m-” 

“Then have Taeyong watch over you.” Mark rushed, short on time.

“No!” Jaemin abruptly screamed, then covered his mouth, embarrassed. “I mean, no, I-I can do it myself.”

Taeyong was one of the intern bosses that looked over the floor staff, including Jaemin. He is strict and quite terrifying since he’s always sure to make everything perfect for the customers. He was a mushy, soft ball of fluff out of work, but in work—it was a completely different story.

“Are you sure? I can just call him now. I know that this isn’t the easiest shift.” He said as he was pulling out his phone from the back pocket of his black slacks.

Jaemin widened his eyes in horror and grabbed Mark’s hand to stop him from pulling out his phone, his heart pounding faster in his chest. “Seriously, there’s no need. I can use the extra hours anyways.”

"Okay, you’re acting weird. I don’t know if I-" Mark stopped mid-sentence as someone banged on the bathroom stall door.

“Jaemin and Mark. How many times do I have to tell you to stop going into the bathroom stalls? Do you guys fuck in there or something?”

“What? No!” They yelled back in unison.

“I think that I might throw up.” Jaemin murmured. Thinking about the shift is literally killing him on the inside.

Mark hit him on his shoulder, his eyebrows furrowed. “You would throw up at the thought of us together? That hurts my feelings!”

“I’m not thinking about you Mark! Everything is not about you.”

“Hey. I don’t care about your little lover’s quarrel. Get out and get to work, we have money to make!” The guy outside of the stall yelled.

Mark unlocked the bathroom door to see Johnny standing in front of the stall with his arms crossed looking very annoyed. “Get. To. Work! The last thing that I want is to have Taeyong breathing down my neck, complaining to me about his incompetent staff for hours because the tables weren’t served. GO!”

Jaemin glared at the boss’s assistant as Mark linked their arms together.

“Since when did you and Taeyong get so close, Johnny? You do everything that he says all the time! It makes me sick.” Jaemin exasperated.

“Because I like how much I’m getting paid. Maybe you’d like it too if you always did what he asked, like not going into the bathroom stalls with your coworkers when you’re supposed to be working.”

“He did not-” Jaemin retorted before Mark’s hand covered his mouth.

“We’ll get going now, sorry about…him.” He said as he pulled Jaemin, walking them towards the bar to get their trays and order tickets.

He licked Mark’s hand, causing the man to immediately take his hand off of his mouth. “Ew! What are you, 5 years old?!”

Jaemin ignored him and rolled his eyes. One thing that he hated the most was getting scolded, especially by Johnny. 

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

Finally, after a 12 hour shift it was time to go home.

Jaemin was tired. Completely an utterly exhausted. He felt like passing out as soon as he walked out of the building.

Anything longer than the regular 8 hours was the absolute worst , especially without the help of his mentor Mark.

His regular hours were easy, all he has to do is walk around with bottles of champagne, bring them to the customers, and then clean the tables when they leave. It’s actually quite entertaining since he receives large tips from them.

But after 3 AM, it’s a whole different world. The drug cartels and gangs come in and hang out in his section, eyeing him constantly. He nearly passed out earlier when he _almost_ dropped a four-thousand-yen bottle on the ground. He shivered as he recalled the memory.

He was afraid of getting shot, stabbed, or both.

Normally, it’s Mark’s specialty to handle those skeleton shifts. He comes in at midnight and leaves at sunrise using some sort of magic to charm them with witty jokes and smiles.

But today, Mark had to leave due to his parents. He didn’t know the details, but it was very urgent. Very, very urgent, the biggest emergency happened at 4am. Jaemin understands, but this was seriously terrifying for him.

Either way, it’s true that Jaemin and Xiaojun are both well-known rookies at the Red House.

Jaemin is friends with the recruiter and can easily get along with his coworkers, so it isn’t a problem. The only problem that he’s had so far was with Taeyong and Lucas.

He has managed to avoid Lucas every time he was approached by him today, but it’s like he has made it his lifelong mission to talk to him and he doesn’t know why. He couldn’t even explain how he feels about Taeyong into readable words. He never should’ve spoken to the guy during business hours.

On top of all of the gangs, he had to deal with those two tonight and it was absolutely, positively exhausting. Honestly, walking home would have been a great feeling if it wasn’t nearing 7am with thick clouds in the sky and heavy rain beating against the pavement.

He thanked himself for always keeping an umbrella in his locker for times like these. It took nearly 30 minutes to get to his apartment from his job, but it wasn’t that bad. As long as he avoided any puddles, he’ll be fine.

Jaemin only just started walking out of the building, but he was already imagining himself in his bed, drinking some hot chocolate, and—

“Stop it!”

Jaemin whipped his head towards the dumpster, squinting his eyes to see in the dark alley, only to find a couple exiting the dark alleyway.

He exhaled a relieved sigh and then took another step, adjusting his umbrella over his head. He did one last double take before leaving, finding a weird dark shape against the wall of the building next to the Red House.

Yes, it would be very stupid and dangerous to check it out, but on the other hand, it could just be a pile of trash bags. Plus, he can’t really see clearly because of the darkness and heavy rain. In the worst-case scenario, he could just run away.

Cautiously, Jaemin took a few steps closer towards the weird object, and then he heard a noise.

It sounded like a person. But not just any person, but a deeply troubled person. 

Jaemin frowned with worry as he took more steps closer, determined to see them.

It was a man curled against the wall, sitting on the cold wet gravel and sobbing. He was sobbing so loud with so much pain as his body was soaked in the rain, shaking. His face and body was hidden in a big black hoodie as his hands held his head down.

Jaemin couldn’t wait to go home and rest. He waited for hours on the floor to go home and take a shower, drink some hot chocolate, and sleep. But he couldn’t just leave now.

He seriously couldn’t. His conscience wouldn’t allow him to leave. He wouldn’t be able to sleep peacefully until he knows that the man is alright.

So, as he knelt down and placed his umbrella over the man’s head instead of his own, he certainly wasn’t expecting this.

The man stopped sobbing, and lifted his head slowly, surprised that the rain is no longer hitting his body.

Jaemin’s umbrella slipped from his hand as the man’s eyes met his own, his mouth slightly ajar from the sight in front of him. “Jeno?!” The younger leaned down and tightly hugged him, his eyes widened from shock. 

What was he doing here in the pouring rain by the dumpster? So many questions swirled in his mind and he tried to calm himself down.

Jeno’s hair was soaked, sticking to his forehead. His eyes were puffy, red, and swollen from crying. Jaemin’s eyes were glossy as he leaned back, cupping Jeno’s face in his hands.

“Where have you been? Do you know how much I missed you?” He said as his lips quivered, desperately trying to keep his tears at bay. The last thing that he wanted was for Jeno to see him cry.

“I’m sorry.” Jeno spoke. His voice was hoarse and rough from sobbing. He sounded a bit stuffy too. “I’m sorry Jaemin, I tried. I really tried to stay away. But I can’t do it. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to do this.” Jeno babbled as tears streamed down his face, shaking his head.

“What happened to you?”

“I’m sorry.” He said as his voice cracked, covering his face with his hands.

Jaemin averted his eyes and drew his lower lip between his teeth. His wet, pink strands were stuck to his face, his clothes now drenched from the rain.

All he felt like doing was crying, but he couldn’t. He balled his fists as his fingernails dug into his palms, nearly drawing blood.

_Please, tell me. Tell me what you ran away from. Why did you run away from me?_

Shit.

He stood up and turned away from Jeno and rubbed his hand over his face repeatedly, his chest slightly constricting. He needed to get it together. Jeno needed him right now. This was not the time to become a bawling mess.

He took a deep breath and turned around, determined. He squatted down and picked umbrella back up, holding it over their heads.

“You’re coming home with me. Let’s go.” Jaemin said as he grabbed onto Jeno’s freezing hands, pulling him up with him.

“I can’t.” He whispered, pulling back from Jaemin’s grasp.

“Yes, you can. I don’t know what happened to you. If you were dead, alive, nothing! I’m not letting you slip away from me again. You don’t have a choice in this Lee Jeno you’re coming with me, now. Take my hand and come with me.” He said as he held out his shaking hand, his eyes gesturing Jeno to come closer.

Jeno stared at the other’s stretched out hand. After a few moments of hesitation, he grabbed it, and Jaemin squeezed it, hoping to never let it disappear from his grip again.


	2. Chapter 2

“Do you love me?” Eunwoo asked, his slender arms inching up Jeno’s waist.

Jeno was currently straddling his lap; his arms were tied behind his back. The bed creaked as he slightly leaned away from the man.

“Hyung, please.” He spoke slightly above a whisper.

Eunwoo chuckled, pulling him closer, his firm hands now gripping his thighs. “So, you love this Jaemin guy, but not your own hyung?” A smug look took over his face. “Wake up Jeno! You obviously don’t love him.”

“Why are you doing this to me? Is this fun-” Jeno was suddenly cut off by his hyung’s lips latching on to his. His eyes widened as he tried to pull back, but it was to no avail. Eunwoo smirked into the kiss, softly biting Jeno’s lower lip.

Suddenly the elder leaned back, reveling in Jeno’s flushed face. He laughed, sliding his hand around the back of younger’s neck, easily pulling him back in.

“Stop-mmph!” Jeno was cut off again as the elder pushed his tongue into his mouth, saliva dripping down the side of his mouth. He could feel himself losing control as each second passed.

Suddenly, Jeno’s shirt was off. Eunwoo’s hands slowly glided up along his sides, inching closer to his nipples. A moan slipped past his lips as the other's palms slid over them. His black hair was covering his hazy eyes but unable to hide his red flushed face. He attempted to control his breathing to stop his heart from beating so fast.

Jeno was stuck in this torturous game, and it was beyond amusing for the elder. 

“I wonder what would happen if Jaemin saw this. Would he still love you?” He questioned.

“Just stop.” He croaked, his eyes watering.

“He wouldn’t love you anymore, right? Aw, poor Jeno.” The elder said, slightly tilting his head tauntingly.

“No!” He said as he turned his head away, forcefully trying to back away from him, his wrists burning from the rope that bounded them together.

Eunwoo softly stroked his cheek. “I love you.” He cooed.

“Stop it! Shut up, just shut the fuck up!”

“I love you, Jeno.”

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

“Jeno!”

He woke up startled, looking up at a worried Jaemin, the younger’s eyes never leaving his. A concerned expression was etched all over his face.

Jeno was panting heavily, his eyes wide as he glanced around the apartment, his head still on Jaemin’s lap.

“Jaemin...?”

He let out a relieved sign after realizing that it was all just a dream.

“Are you okay? You were scaring me!” The younger exclaimed as Jeno slowly sat up against the couch, running his hand through his black sweaty hair.

He wiped his face, feeling the sweat drip down the back of his neck. “I’m sorry…I don’t know.”

“You really fucking scared me! Were you having a nightmare?” Jaemin said as he pulled him into a hug, it was so abrupt that Jeno didn’t know how to react. “Does it have something to with what happened yesterday?”

The elder’s eyes widened, he couldn’t tell him anything about what happened yesterday or the events that had led up to that moment. Talking about things never helped him out. On the contrary, it would just make things more complicated.

He felt dirty after doing the things that he did. He has been hopping from house to house for the past month, sleeping in Doyoung’s condo when he needed a break from it all.

Going back to his apartment completely terrified him.

The last day that he went to that place was when he left Jaemin in that bathroom. As soon as he stepped his foot into the dark apartment, he threw up from the amount of anxiety that was coursing through his body.

His brother could be anywhere, but he doesn’t exactly know where.

Jeno shouldn’t even be near Jaemin right now since it wouldn’t be safe for the younger.

But he couldn’t help it.

Just being in his presence soothed him. It’s better if Jaemin didn’t know anything about it. He pressed his face into the pink-headed boy's freshly washed hoodie. It felt nice and warm, the lingering scent of vanilla taking over his mind. He wished that they could stay like this.

After what felt like forever, he was pushed back, the younger’s eyes staring at his dusted pink cheeks.

“Why are you so flushed? Do you always have nightmares like this?” He asked then frowned, “You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

_I can’t sleep._

“I sleep…” Jeno sounded as he got up from the couch. “Can we just forget that this happened.”

“What? We still need to talk about yesterday-”

“That too. I would like to just think that it never happened. Please, Jaemin.” He looked at him, his eyes pleading.

After a few minutes of silence, Jaemin reluctantly agreed. It probably wouldn’t do any good to pry it out of him if he doesn’t want to tell him.

“Well…can you at least tell me why you were gone for a month?”

Jeno averted his gaze and pursed his lips, avoiding the younger’s furrowed eyebrows and slight look of betrayal on his face. 

Jaemin clicked his teeth, obviously frustrated with the situation. “Well, do you want me to walk you home? I have to get going soon.”

Jeno vigorously shook his head no, still refusing to open his mouth. 

“You don’t want to go home?”

Jeno slightly shook his head no again.

“Um…okay.”

“Thank you Jaemin.” Jeno said as he looked down, playing with a few loose strands on his black hoodie. He knew that Jaemin wanted a million answers about where he was and what he was doing.

But he was the absolute _last_ person who he would want to tell it to.

“Fine, don’t tell me anything. Just please Jeno, don’t lie to me.” He said before he got up from the couch, briefly disappearing into a room, coming out with a towel and some fresh clothes. “Go take a shower and make yourself something to eat. You can stay here for as long as you want.”

“I have to go to work , but when I come back, we are going to have a very, very long conversation.”

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

If someone were to ask him why he was standing in front of the Red House in a navy-blue button-down pajama set and winter trench coat, he wouldn’t be able to even give a plausible reason why.

He just knew that he wanted to see Jaemin.

Sitting in the apartment with nothing but his own thoughts was _not_ helping him at all. So, as he walked past the double doors, pushing his glasses up his nose, he couldn’t give two shits about the customers staring at him. He just needed to see his face so that he could relax. 

Jeno walked quickly to the receptionist, a clear resolution in his mind.

“Hello, welcome to the Red House. How may I assist you today?” The receptionist said in Japanese while eyeing his attire then glancing at the security, wondering why they aren’t doing their job.

“I need to know where Na Jaemin is.”

“I’m sorry, we can’t give out our employee information to customers.”

Jeno ran his hand through his black hair, agitated, before taking off his glasses. “It’s me. Now tell me what floor he’s on.”

The receptionist stood up quickly with wide eyes, bowing immediately. “I deeply apologize, Lee-sama. _That_ worker is on the 4th floor.”

He rolled his eyes and put his glasses back on. He knew that he looked a bit different without them on, but this was a bit too much.

“Why are you here?”

He briefly turned around towards the voice behind him while ruffling his black hair to cover the sides of his glasses.

Jeno inwardly cursed at the man, he didn’t have time for this. He wondered how they even knew that he was here, he just walked in not even 5 minutes ago. Jeno ignored him as he took a step forward, trying to get to the elevator quickly.

“Why are you here?” Johhny demanded, blocking his path.

“Am I not allowed to walk around?” He asked politely, placing his hands into his trench coat, trying to cover his clothes.

Johnny furrowed his eyebrows as he walked closer to Jeno, forcefully opening his coat.

“What the fuck is this? Did you just roll out of bed and decide to come here?” He clucked his teeth with a heavy sigh, “You know what? Don’t answer that. Just follow me, the boss needs to see you immediately.”

“I don’t have time right now; can we do this some other time?”

“You can come with me now or get a bullet in your head tomorrow morning, your choice?”

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

Jeno leaned against the railing inside of the elevator, the doors sliding shut. He stared blankly at the back of Johnny’s white tailored suit as the man slid his keycard pass, entering the code for top floor. The elevator quietly ascended, rapidly reaching the floor where the boss of the Red House was located.

He inwardly cursed at the man. This was the last place where he expected to be right now.

The elevator came to a stop then dinged. They turned a corner a stood in front of a steel door, an electric keypad right next to it.

Johnny punched a button and the door slid open. Jeno looked like death personified as he was forcefully pushed into the room, the door locking automatically behind him.

“Johnny is very efficient, don’t you think?” The Japanese man smiled; his hands folded on his desk as he looked at Jeno. “Take a seat.”

Jeno bowed respectfully, swiftly taking a seat in the chair in front of the mahogany desk, looking down at his hands.

“So, let’s just get right to business. You owe me ¥5,000,000 as it says on your tab, and you haven’t paid any of it back yet. I haven’t seen you around here, but you have been working for past month, I assume?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“So, where is the money Jeno?” He said, lifting an eyebrow, his neatly combed grey hair not moving an inch.

He looked terribly embarrassed, having forgotten about the tab entirely. The only thing on his mind was saving up for a new apartment, somewhere far away from here. “I apologize, I will pay it off as soon as I can.”

“It has already been a few months; I don’t know how much more time I can give you.”

“It will be very soon, I promise.”

The old man nodded. “Two CEO’s will be coming to The Red House this week. Nashikimi-san from the Tsukishima corporation and Furuma-san from Nikuman Electric. If you service both of them well, you can think of your tab as being paid off. Nashikimi-san is a woman, but I am sure that it won’t be an issue, right?”

Even though he wasn’t sexually attracted to women in the slightest, this was a personal request. Jeno quietly nodded, knowing better than to refuse an offer by the boss. When he asked someone to do something, it wasn’t exactly a question, it was a statement

“May I take my leave?”

The old man quietly nodded, gesturing towards the door. “And Jeno, don’t show up wearing those clothes again,” the man said, pointing towards his pajamas, “Next time, I won’t be so nice.”

Jeno deeply bowed before turning the handle of the door, swiftly walking past Johnny, ignoring his presence.

Whenever he saw the guy it was always _something_. It was exhausting.

He felt the other’s gaze burning in the back of his head as he pressed the button for the elevator.

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

He walked through the door, and his eyes immediately found the pink-headed boy. He wondered when and why he dyed it from the honey brown it once was.

His chin was resting upon a guy’s shoulder who had on the same uniform as him. His hands suddenly stroked down the man’s arms, enclosing them around the man’s waist as he said something in his ear. But Jeno couldn’t make out what he said.

_Wasn’t he supposed to be working? What kind of work was this?_

Jeno could feel something in his stomach twist.

The man pulled away from Jaemin’s hold, but the pink-headed boy didn’t frown cutely. He showed a flirtatious smile, then wrapped his arms around him again, trying to kiss the man’s cheek.

The elder felt his eye twitch. Why was it always like this every time that he stepped onto this floor? This feeling was spreading throughout his entire body.

Jaemin was now smiling softly at the guy, and Jeno suddenly wondered why he never acted that way with him. It was as if he was acting like a completely different person here.

With his head in a spiral, he turned around to the person who suddenly tapped on his shoulder.

“You’re Jeno, right? Why do you keep staring at Jaemin like that? You look like you want to rip him apart.” The girl laughed. 

He sighed. Was it really that obvious?

“I’m Sunmi by the way. Lee Sunmi. I usually bartend but the boss wants me to watch over a client tonight. You know how it is.” She said as she swirled the yellow umbrella in her martini glass with a closed lip smile.

“Do you know who the other guy is?”

“What guy?”

“The one with Jaemin”

She leaned backwards, away from the bar, looking at the man carefully. “The one with the curly brown hair? That’s Lee Mark.” She said as she took a sip of her martini, flipping her long black hair over the shoulder of her red and white kimono.

“Are they always like this?”

“Like…what?”

“Touchy, and close.”

“Do you not know Jaemin?” She said as she chuckled before putting her drink down, “He’s flirtatious by nature. I mean, everyone loves him. But he’s most comfortable with Mark, they’re basically attached to the hip.”

Jeno clenched his fists, his brows knitted in confusion. That doesn’t sound like the younger at all.

“…are they dating?”

“I don’t know, no one really knows.”

_Flirtatious by nature?_ Is this the same Na Jaemin that they’re talking about?

A puzzled look crossed his face as he thought through each interaction that he had with him. And not once was he flirty or suggestive in any way. He was always shy and adorable. Was it all an act?

With his head still slightly spinning, he got up from the bench, on his way back to the elevator.

“Jeno!”

The pink-haired boy ran to him before the doors closed, stopping it with his hands. “What are you doing here?” He asked, slightly out of breath. “And you’re in my…pajamas? What were you thinking?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m leaving.”

“Why? Didn’t you just get here? Just stay until I clock out. Follow me.” He said with a mischievous smile.

Jeno sighed, reluctantly stepping out of the elevator. He followed him through the floor, passing many people who stared at him awkwardly. He tried his best to cover the pajamas that Jaemin lent him with his coat, feeling more self-conscious, especially with his glasses.

The younger entered in a passcode in front of a door, and he was pulled in.

Which Jaemin was he with now?

“This is the laundry room, no one really comes in here unless it’s a Sunday. I know that it’s pretty small room but there’s a couch, so you can rest until I clock out.”

“Jaemin, are you dating someone?” He asked abruptly. That was the only thing that has been on his mind.

The younger looked at him wide-eyed, surprised by the sudden question, then smirked. “Yes, I am actually.”

Jeno frowned, his eyes narrowing into a glare. “Is it Mark?”

He bit his lip as the violent feeling came back to him, so without much thinking, he pushed Jaemin into the wall, pinning his arms above his head. He squeezed his wrists hard, with no doubt, bruising him.

He didn’t want to hear his answer, it would no doubt crush his heart into many pieces. “You enjoy this, don’t you?”

“W-what…what are you...?” Jaemin trailed, his eyebrows furrowing as he felt his face heat up, contrasting to the cool feeling of the wall on his back.

“Isn’t this what you want? You seem to purposely do things to make me like this” Jeno glared, leaning in closer.

Jaemin groaned in pain, squeezing his fists as Jeno tightened his grip around his slim wrists. “Jen-”

He was immediately cut off by Jeno’s tongue in his mouth. Jeno let go of his wrists as he lowered them to the younger’s white shirt, gripping it hard as he explored the warm cavern.

The kiss was sloppy and sensual, Jaemin using his strength to pull him closer. The elder’s hands moved down the pink-haired boy’s back, cupping his ass. Jaemin moaned, pulling back from his lips.

“Who are you, Jaemin?” Jeno murmured against his lips, using his hands to unbutton Jaemin’s shirt and pants.

“Wait, we can’t do this here- ahh” The younger was cut off as Jeno sucked at the spot behind his ear, his eyes fluttering shut.

He reached into the pocket of his tan trench coat, hoping that he had a packet of lube in them. He smirked into the younger’s neck as he grabbed a packet, quickly leaning back to open the small packet, squirting it all over his hand.

“Seriously Jeno. If H-Haechan sees that I’m gone, this will be the first place that he’ll come to look for me.” He said with glazed eyes, panting as he tried to catch his breath. Jeno’s mouth was all over him, he could barely think straight.

He reached down into Jaemin’s boxers, lightly tugging his length, speeding up towards a steady pace. The slide of his palm was very slick, easily allowing him to quicken his pace. 

He swirled his thumb around the tip, pressing down slightly, spreading his precum around the slit.

“A-ah…” He panted as he threw his head back onto the wall. “J-Jeno, please-nghh” The younger mewled, slightly losing his balance, his legs shaking.

“Please what? You brought this upon yourself” He murmured in his ear, his breath fanning over his ear.

Jaemin moaned as Jeno left multiple hickeys on his neck, his other hand stroking his cock fast. The pink-headed boy was gasping for air as tears were building up in his eyes as the pleasure filled up inside of him.

“Remember our rule?”

“What rule?” Jaemin asked, panting heavily.

“The no sex rule. I guess that this will be hard for you, Jaemin.” Jeno grinned, leaning closer.

The younger might be in a relationship with someone, but his feelings are still strong for him. He had already told him that they wouldn’t be able to have sex until they are sure about their feelings, and he will stick by it.

He never felt so close to someone, yet so far away at the same time.

“J-Jeno please. I need you.” He whined as he thrusted his hips into his hands. He whimpered as the fingers of Jeno’s left hand dug into the side of his hips.

Unshed tears rolled down his cheeks as Jeno latched onto his neck again, lightly biting. He moaned loudly, wanting nothing more than for Jeno to fuck into him hard.

“You should be asking your boyfriend, not me.”

“Jeno! I can’t, it’s too much” he said with tear-stained cheeks, shaking his head slightly as choked moans passed through his lips. He knew that he wouldn’t be allowed to come. The extent to which he was allowed would come soon.

It was a painful game.

“I want to come, Jeno, please?” Jaemin begged.

Jeno wiped the tears that streamed down the younger’s face before slowing down his pace, eventually removing his hand from him.

“I’m sorry.” he said before giving Jaemin a quick peck on the lips.

“This was basically torture…” Jaemin muttered as he breathed heavily, trying to catch his breath. Their little session easily tired him out combined with his long day at work. He was slowly closing his eyes, his legs giving out as Jeno caught him from falling.

He laid him on the couch in front of the dryer, moving a strand of his pink hair from his face. He was slowly falling asleep with dusted pink cheeks and love bites littered all over him as Jeno put his black slacks back on the younger, but leaving his white shirt unbuttoned. It would be too much of a hassle anyways.

He desperately wanted others to know that he was taken. His supposed boyfriend included. No one else could have him. 

But maybe he went a bit too far.

“Who are you dating, Na Jaemin?” He whispered; his voice barely audible with his heart feeling heavy.

“Lee…” He said quietly before completely dozing off.

Lee? Was it Mark?

Jeno’s body jerked as the door to the laundry room slammed open, a frantic Haechan busted inside glancing around the room, his eyes quickly landing on Jaemin.

He gasped as he saw the marks all over him. Not only was he bruised badly, but he had bite marks on his collarbones.

Jeno hands trembled as he glanced at the marks all over his body; he did this to him. He frowned as he averted his gaze towards the ground.

He felt like a monster.

“What the hell did you to him?!” Haechan screamed, pushing Jeno out of the way. “He’s fucking bruised everywhere.” He said incredulously as he gingerly lifted his wrists, also glancing at his neck. “Why isn’t he waking up?”

“I wasn’t thinking straight at all, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry? Is that the only word that you know??” Haechan said as he stood up, “Look, I don’t know what hole that you crawled out of, but Jaemin doesn’t need this. He was two seconds away from becoming a drug addict and the minute that you show up again, he looks like this!”

_Drug addict?_

“I heard that he was dating someone, and my mind just went blank.”

“Yeah, dumbass he is dating someone. You! He’s dating Lee fucking Jeno!” Haechan said as he shook his head, “He’s sleeping with me tonight. I’ll take him to my house. You can just go, please, go!”

“That isn’t necessary, I’ll just take him home. We’re going to the same place.” He said as he got up from the ground, reaching down to lift up Jaemin.

“Not happening! Go, Jeno.”

“Okay, I’ll leave. But can you please tell me what you meant earlier? What did you mean by drug addict?”

Haechan sighed. “Leave, Jeno. The next time that I ask you, the security will be here too.”

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

“Haechan, you’re making me dizzy, can you just sit down on the bed with me?”

“I take my eyes off of you for one fucking second…” Haechan says as he walks back and forth of the bed, his hands on his hips. “I think that you should stay away from Jeno. He isn’t good for you Nana.”

“It isn’t his fault.”

“Fucking look at you! Look in the mirror!”

“That’s the least of my problems. I think that I might die if I don’t get laid soon. ”

“Na Jaemin, please. Can you please be serious? He has big issues. ”

The pink-headed boy frowned, hugging the pillow closer to his body. He knew that Jeno wasn’t like everyone else, but his best friend should a least show an ounce of support. It’s like he didn’t want them to be together at all.

“He’s different.” Jaemin replied. It was the only thing that he could reply without spilling the details about their past.

Haechan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I can tell.”

“Why are you acting like this? Just wait until I tell everyone at work how you are behind closed doors!” Jaemin yelled, tired of hearing him act this way towards Jeno. He knew that it looked bad, but he couldn’t tell Jeno’s secrets. Besides it’s not like he was heavily injured or anything.

He huffed as his phone suddenly dinged in his pocket. But after reading his phone, a small smile took over his lips.

**Jen!!! <3**: Hey, are you up?

 _'it depends.'_ He quickly replied.

 **Jen!!! <3**: -.-

 **Jen!!! <3**: I miss you

 **Jen!!! <3: **I’m sorry

 **Jen!!! <3: **When are you coming home?

Jaemin smiled widely, a blush creeping its way to his face as he stared at his phone.

“Nana! Are you even listening to me right now? Do you know that he’s been working for weeks?”

_Working?_

Jaemin’s gaze shot up from his phone at that, his smile falling immediately. “What do you mean by working?”

“He’s been you know, doing his job. I heard it from Johnny. He’s been moving from house to house doing his…thing.”

“You mean having sex. While I was here worried if he was dead or not, he’s been passing his dick around the city? I can’t believe this.”

Why didn’t he tell him? He understood that it was his job, but no one else should be able to see and touch his body if he himself couldn’t!

He immediately pressed call without thinking twice. The phone didn’t even ring twice before he picked up.

“So, while you are out fucking other people, you tell me that I’m not able to do anything? Explain the logic in there Jeno!” Jaemin demanded as he sat up from the daybed, yelling into the phone.

“…Who told you that?”

“ _Who told me?_ Oh, so you’re more worried about the fact that I know that you have been working for the past few weeks, passing your dick around Tokyo?!”

“Jaemin, it’s not like that. It’s just my job.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I-Jaemin. That’s in the past, it’s not important right now.”

“No Jeno, I want to talk about this now. What aren’t you telling me?”

As the conversation went on, he got more frustrated. He was already sexually frustrated, but now emotionally frustrated at the fact that Jeno was calm while he felt like he was going to explode. Jeno doesn’t tell him anything unless he feels like it’s absolutely necessary.

He doesn’t trust him.

He got up as exited the room, his phone pressed to his ear. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“What am I doing?”

_Now he’s acting oblivious._

“Never mind Jeno. Goodnight.” Jaemin said curtly.

“Wait-”

He ended the call and turned off his phone while walking back into the room, throwing his phone onto the bed. He didn’t care what the other had to say. It wasn’t just this time, but for the past few days that Jeno has acted like this. Every time he asked him what happened he always brushed it off.

He felt like crying. 

“Haechan, am I stupid? Am I just reading this wrong? Is it seriously just me that’s going crazy?” He babbled as he tugged on his hair.

“Well, it is his job…” Haechan said with his eyes closed, his head resting on a pillow.

“But it’s not fair! He won’t even give me the satisfaction of cumming because of our feelings, or whatever that means. I mean, I get it, but fuck! I don’t even know what I did to deserve this!” He said as he looked down at his wrists, the bruises now turning into a deep shade of purple.

“The last thing that I would want to hear about is your dick, Nana”

“It’s just…I missed him. But I can’t hug him or touch him. I’m the touchiest person that I know!” 

“Mmhm” Haechan absently agreed, slowly falling asleep.

“But to know that he’s been touching other people and I can’t even touch him, it’s just…you have no idea how much I wanted to see him for the past few weeks Haechan. It feels like he was cheating on me or something. Why didn’t he tell me? It’s suspicious. What if he fell in love with someone else and then they broke up, so he came back to me?!” Jaemin asked wide-eyed.

At this point he doesn’t even know what he’s saying. But it felt good to let all of this thoughts and feelings spill out of his mouth without thinking.

“What did I do wrong? He wouldn’t even let me speak when he asked me who I was dating. Who else would I be dating?! I literally told him to stay in my apartment not even a few hours before. I mean, have you seen this?” He asked, pulling down the collar of Haechan’s blue oversized shirt, showing his neck. “A fucking bite mark, and there’s many, many more. What is he, a vampire?” He asked incredously. “He does all of this and doesn’t even fuck me.”

Haechan threw a pillow at him, a look of disgust etched on his face. “Jaemin stop talking to me about your dick and your ass!”

“Well, I want to talk about my nonexistent sex life!!”

“I don’t”

“You have no choice. You dragged me here and told me that I can’t go back to my own apartment for the rest of the night with my own boyfriend.”

Haechan sighed dramatically and flopped back on the bed. “Just shut up and come here.” He said, opening his arms.

Jaemin pouted, crawling into the bed into his arms. “You’re the best”

“I know. Now go to sleep, I know that you’re still tired.”


	3. Chapter 3

On some things he agreed with Jeno. Well, on many things. But the one decision that he couldn’t agree with was the no sex rule. At first, he understood the elder’s logic.

Sex could cloud their judgement and make us believe that we like someone even when we don’t. It could just be pure lust. So, he decided that they should take this slow.

But Jaemin knew that he liked the elder for who he was, not for his body. Therefore, he thought that this decision the other made was the most selfish and hypocritical thing that he could’ve put onto their relationship. While Jeno was out fucking other guys or getting fucked, he had to stay celibate.

The only person that he wants is Jeno, yes, but he couldn’t even touch him. It may not seem like a big deal to others, but this was like a slow burn type of torture. Working at the Red House was one thing, but it was especially painful seeing Jeno’s body every morning when he gets out of the shower and not being able to touch him.

He needed to have sex. There was a reason why he called him in the first place after he had broken up with his now ex-boyfriend.

Jaemin started fingering himself around a week after the no-sex rule was put into place. Then his method had gotten very vanilla for his taste, and he needed something else to crush his desires. So, he thought of the next best thing to a cock: A dildo.

He didn’t know why the hell he hadn’t tried it sooner. It felt _divine_ inside of him, pumping in and out of his body. He couldn’t get enough of riding the pink dildo as he pulled on his cock at the same time. And when he leaned a little bit forward, it was enough to brush against his prostate. It had him coming in seconds, moaning out loud as he came onto the bathroom floor.

But after a month of using it, it wasn’t enough. All he could think about was images of Jeno’s big hands tightening around his hips with his velvety low moans whenever he used the dildo now.

He struggled to push his dildo faster inside of him.

It didn’t give him the satisfaction of Jeno’s cock that he craved. No matter how hard he tried, nothing could push him over the edge anymore. His wrists and fingers had started to cramp up before he reached a single orgasm now. He desperately needed that release with all of the built-up tension that he received from his job on a daily basis. Jeno had no problem releasing his sexual tension and it pissed him off, a lot.

There is one person that he knows that could help him, and it would be free. The only thing is that he’s a big asshole and his ego was off the charts.

But he needed this, and it was just for this one time.

He wouldn’t be able to call him under normal circumstances, especially with how nervous he was.

The hormones that are released in your body when pleasured makes you do things that you wouldn’t normally do. It also makes you forget about everything else. So, with this in mind, he guided the pink dildo into himself again, in-taking a sharp sigh as it entered him.

It was the perfect solution.

His thumbs fumbled across the touch screen of his phone. He turned on the vibrator feature on the pink cock before pressing the call button, causing him to let out a faint moan. It only rang once before the other picked up the phone.

“Well, if it isn’t Na Jaemin? I thought you would never call.” He sounded smugly. “What do you need?” Lucas said, his deep voice sounding lovely to Jaemin’s ears.

It reminded him of Jeno’s morning voice.

A moan slipped past his lips, just the sound of his deep voice combined with the feeling of the toys was delightful. He rode the cock faster, lube dripping down the shaft.

“Jaemin?” Lucas repeated.

The shorter could hear the harsh, exaggerated breaths through his phone. He turned up the speed of the vibrator in his ass when a few seconds of silence passed by, sending a jolt of pleasure through his body.

“Lucas,” He moaned again, unable to restrain himself as the vibrator went faster. He swore that he heard the other’s breath hitch. “Can you…” He paused, sucking in a deep breath as the pleasure pooled in his gut. He had been so close for so long, and now there’s nothing he wanted more than to come. But he knew that he couldn’t with the toys. “Can you come over? This is just as friends okay?”

“Be there in 10.” The taller said before quickly hanging up.

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

As soon as he came through the door, Jaemin helped strip him down as much as his trembling hands would allow. Even though he hadn’t been fucked it what felt like forever, he couldn’t believe that he actually called Lucas. This was the same guy who always manages to act like he doesn’t mean shit to him. 

On second thought, maybe that was a good thing.

If he didn’t matter to him, then Jaemin was ensured that this was nothing more than a quickie. He cared for Jeno too much for feelings to be involved in this situation.

As more of his ex’s bare skin was revealed, the more nervous Jaemin got.

Actually, maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all.

“This is just because I don’t have any other options. I wouldn’t call you if I did,” Jaemin explained as Lucas easily picked him up, moving towards his bedroom. “The only reason why I called you was because I needed your dick. Don’t tell anyone about this. The last thing that I want is this spreading all over the 4th floor…” The shorter said as he wrapped his arms around his neck.

“Fine, this’ll be our little secret. Why couldn’t you call lover boy to dick you down instead?” The taller said as he laid him down far too gently onto the sheets. Jaemin was already far too impatient to wait for Lucas to get his act together.

He rolled out from underneath the other and positioned himself on top of him. “That’s none of your business and you’re too fucking slow,” Jaemin whined, grabbing hold of Lucas’s length. It was already fully hard as he ran his fingers along the velvety skin. He quickly took the condom and lube packet that Lucas offered him.

The taller groaned as Jaemin rolled the protection down on him, squeezing the lube all over his length while straddling his thighs. 

Without taking his hands off of Lucas’s cock, he lined it up with his aching entrance and didn’t waste any time in sinking down on it.

“Slow down,” Lucas grunted as his large hands came to rest on Jaemin’s ass, steadying him.

Jaemin would have told him to not get too intimate with his gestures if he had any words left to speak. Even though he stretched himself from his fingers and toys, his cock still stretched him in all of the right ways.

Even though it felt good, he still missed Jeno’s. Nothing could replace his.

When he looked down, Lucas’s face was flushed, his eyes seemingly mesmerized by the sight on top of him. He didn’t understand why his ex was being so affectionate in this situation. This was just a favor between friends, nothing more. Actually, they aren’t even friends, just acquaintances. Lucas has also made it very clear that he doesn’t like him romantically. He only liked Jaemin as a sex partner and used him until he got bored. So why is he using his thumbs to draw soft circles on Jaemin’s hips, making his skin tingle pleasantly?

The taller surprised him out of his thoughts by thrusting upwards.

“Focus.” He said with a smirk before thrusting up again with more force.

“Aah!” Jaemin moaned, making a noise that was between a moan and a whine. “Harder”

Lucas grunted in response. His grip on Jaemin’s hips prevented him from moving, so he adjusted himself under the shorter man.

With his feet braced on the bed, Lucas thrusted up into Jaemin, much harder, faster, and deeper than before as he pulled down on his hips to meet his own.

“Yes!” Jaemin cried. He gasped as he leaned down, when Lucas’s cock shifted inside him and pressed directly against his prostate. “Right there,” Jaemin moaned loudly before Lucas pressed his lips to his.

While the shorter kissed him back, Lucas didn’t let his pace slow down not once. While his lips were stilled latched onto his, the taller man rolled them around so that he was on top of Jaemin.

He wrapped his legs around Lucas’s torso as his pace slowed down, adding a grind to his hips.

“Don’t stop” The shorter whined against his lips, his eyes hazy with pleasure.

Lucas kept fucking into him over and over again until Jaemin was a mess, mewling and begging for him to keep going.

The orgasm snuck up on him, an explosion of pleasure coursed through his body as he spilled against his stomach. Then it was too much, and Jaemin squirmed under Lucas, gasping as he was fucked through his orgasm.

There was a moment where they just stared at each other, panting to catch their breaths. Lucas’s eyes were soft as he studied Jaemin. He smiled as he reached up to push Jaemin’s sweaty pink bangs back from his forehead.

This.

This was what was weird. He shouldn’t be so…so nice. It was weirding him out. “You can take a shower before you leave.” The shorter murmured while rolling from under him and standing beside the bed, ready to pull the cum stained sheets from the mattress.

“Why can’t we just take one together? I mean, we just fucked.” The taller said as he leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed.

This image was way too familiar for Jaemin’s liking. “This was just as friends, okay? Friends don’t take showers after having sex. Couples do.”

“Friends also don’t fuck each other. It’s just this once Jaemin, I think that it will be fine. I’ll grab towels for both of us. It’ll be just like old times.” He said with a smirk while walking out of the bedroom and towards the bathroom.

“I didn’t say yes…ugh!” Jaemin said as he ran his fingers aggressively through his hair. He was always like this. What? Did he not hear him say no? He has big ears for no reason! He rolled his eyes and reluctantly dragged his feet to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

There were a lot of things that made Jeno happy. 

Glazed doughnuts, ramen, and painting were one of his top favorites, even though he hasn’t done the latter in ages.

But the one person who could make him feel like he was on top of the world was Jaemin. He accepted him flaws and all. Just being in the same air as him was comforting and peaceful. He honestly didn’t know how he could live without him in his life now. 

So, why is the only person that could make him so happy make him so angry that he felt like hurting him? 

Jeno’s hands shook with anger as he saw Jaemin and his ex getting dressed together in the bedroom that reeked of sex. Their hair dripped with water; droplet’s repeatedly falling onto the wooden floor. 

_How could he do this to me?_

“Jeno!” The younger exclaimed as he turned towards the bedroom door. “Before you say anything, this is not what it looks like! I only asked him—”

“Bullshit! I don’t wanna hear it!” Tears welled up in Jeno’s eyes as he screamed, dropping his black gym bag onto the floor.

He slowly backed up out of the room, and then paced towards the front door. He tried to control his breathing as he felt his throat closing up, the air clattering in his burning lungs. The darkness was creeping its way out of his body. The longer he stood in that room, he would no doubt do something that he’d regret.

The younger quickly ran after him, blocking the front door.

“Don’t leave,” He said as he used his arms to block the sides of the door. “This was only as a favor for me. No feelings were involved, I swear. To me he was like...like a doll that could move and had a dick!” Jaemin reasoned as he inched towards him. 

“Don’t. Don’t get close.” Jeno croaked. He swallowed, keeping his eyes closed as the scene flashed through his mind again.

Jaemin’s warm, soft gaze when he told him that he was the sweetest and most beautiful person that he had ever met swam through Jeno’s mind in a polished layer of disbelief. Jaemin’s wide, shining smiles showed up behind his eyes, seemingly mocking him. The sincerity of his low voice when he told him to take his hand rang through his ears, laughing at him.

“So, this is what you were doing while I was gone? Fucking him and getting high all day?!”

“What? No that isn’t-“

“Doyoung told me that he saw you two together in that laundry room. You thought that I wouldn’t find out, huh? If you want to be with him so bad, then do it Jaemin. Leave me out of this” Jeno yelled before he walked back to pick up his gym bag that he had dropped abruptly. It had some clothes in there to last a few days.

“Jeno it wasn’t like that! What just happened had nothing to do with that situation!” He exclaimed as he quickly followed the elder, snatching the bag from his hands. He was about to throw it across the room but was held back by Lucas abruptly gripping his arm.

“What are you doing? I can’t let him leave like this!” He said as he forcefully jerked his arm out of this grasp. “This wasn’t any different than your job, Jeno. The only difference is that I didn’t pay him.”

“I don’t fuck people that I would consider a friend Jaemin! This is completely different!” 

“No, it’s not, you’re being hypocritical. I don’t want him Jeno, I want you. Do you know how selfish and stupid that rule was? You wouldn’t understand.” 

Jeno couldn’t reason with anything that the younger was saying to him. 

All he saw was red. 

He glanced back at Lucas standing awkwardly behind him and felt a surge of rage. 

Jeno snapped as he exhaled, walking up to him, somewhat feeling restricted as if he was trapped in his own body. His hand lifted up without any hesitation. The knuckles of his right-hand stung with a hint of pain at the contact of a hard jaw.

In a blink of an eye, Jaemin had stood in front of Lucas, shutting his eyes tight as he prepared for the impact. He couldn’t retract his arm in time and hit the younger. 

He stumbled backwards, baffled. “Why would you do that?! I was aiming at him, not you!” The elder yelled as he grabbed the younger's face. 

“It wasn’t his fault, I’m the one who called him.” Jaemin said as he touched his lip, tasting a bit of blood in his mouth. “I’m sorry Jeno. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t think you would care! There really were no feelings involved, I swear. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” He wailed as tears streamed from his eyes.

“You didn’t think that I would care?” The elder repeated as he exhaled heavily. This situation reminded him of a client that he had months ago, Renjun. Renjun caught his boyfriend having sex with his neighbor, so he called Jeno as a way to get back at him. 

_I wouldn’t care? That’s a fucking lie_. 

“Let’s get something straight here Jaemin. Your mouth and body doesn’t belong on anyone else’s except mine. You should’ve called _me_.” Jeno growled. 

“I won’t do it again” Jaemin sobbed, his cries rattling through the walls of the apartment.

“…I’m g-gonna go.” Lucas said as he side-glanced Jaemin with sad eyes a little too long before exiting through the front door. 

“And don’t come back!” He yelled as he put his arms around the younger, hating the way that his lip was bruised along with his tear stained cheeks, shaking. He was definitely mad at him, but he didn’t like seeing him like this. 

In his line of work, he understands that people get needy sometimes, and just need someone to help them out. But for him to call his ex instead of him pissed him off beyond belief. 

“You’re the one who put that stupid rule in place.” Jaemin said while sniffling. 

“I don’t care about that! If you thought about doing this, then you should’ve called me. I told you that I want to be the only one who can touch you.”

“How do you think I feel when you have sex with other people? I feel the way that you feel right now all the time Jeno! It felt even worse when other people can touch you, but I couldn’t. I needed a release and trust me, I tried everything else. Lucas was the absolute last resort.” 

“Stop making excuses!” 

The elder inwardly cursed at the mention of Lucas’s name, then swiped his bottom lip gently, his finger staining with blood. He couldn’t believe that he laid a hand on him. Even if it was an accident, it felt horrible. 

He felt horrible.

He softly grabbed Jaemin by the wrist and dragged him to the kitchen, opened the freezer and grabbed a frozen bag on peas, placing it on the younger’s bruised cheek.

“Ow!” The younger winced as he retracted from Jeno’s hand. 

“Don’t move.”

The pink-haired man licked his lips, still tasting a hint of iron. "What Doyoung said that he saw, it wasn't anything more that. Nothing happened. You don't know how desperate I was Jeno, I was willing to do anything to keep myself from thinking about you. I don't do those things with him anymore."

The elder's hand clenched around the frozen bag. Not only did Lucas try to weasel his way between them, but he gave Jaemin drugs, allowing him to go down that dark path. Jeno knew what they could do to you if you aren't looking closely. If anything happened to Jaemin, he'd kill him. 

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Jeno asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"It's not exactly one of my best moments...Haechan was already one too many. He should've never found out."

"What? So if he wouldn't have found out you would've kept doing it?" He asked incredulously, his eyebrows closely knit together. 

They stood there for a few minutes in silence. Even if he still thought about doing it again, it wouldn't matter. He will have to go through him even if it means chaining him down to the bed. It also didn’t help that he was still very angry. “I can’t stay here tonight. I’m gonna go sleep at my place.” 

“What? No. Are you insane? That’s dangerous. What if your brother swings by? If you’re still mad at me, then I’ll stay at your house and you can stay here.” Jaemin said as he grabbed the bag from the elder's hand, placing it on the counter.

“Jaemin, I am not letting you go there by yourself. And put this back on.” He said as he grabbed the bag again on the pink haired man's cheek.

“I’ll be fine at your house.” He said as he licked his busted lip then glanced up at the elder, “Do you...are you going to break up with me?”

“No! Why would you even say that?”

Even if Jaemin is lying or telling the truth, Jeno doesn’t care. He will blindly fall deeper into him, because he needs him.

“Because of what I did. To others this would be unforgivable.”

“Well we’re not like other people. I’m a prostitute. Sex isn’t a big deal, but it is when it’s with people you know. _Especially_ if you’re involved." He stared into the younger’s eyes before continuing, “I don’t want you to speak to Lucas anymore. Don’t even stand near the guy, okay?” Jeno said.

“But he works at my job. I see him all the time-“

“Na Jaemin! This isn’t up for debate. No contact at all!” Jeno yelled, cutting him off.

Jaemin looked down, sadness written all over his face. “Then I’ll go sleep at Haechan’s place while you stay here.” 

“What? So you can sleep with another one of your male friends? That’s not happening.”

“He’s not even gay!”

“I don’t fucking care!” Jeno paused lifting his hand through his hair and sighed stressfully before continuing, “I’ll just sleep on the couch. Just thinking about you two on our bed is making me nauseous.” He said as he walked towards the couch, laying down on it. 

Who was to blame in this situation? 


	5. Chapter 5

“Jeno…I’m gonna go to Donghyuck’s house okay? I won’t be staying long, and his girlfriend will be there. I’ll even send selfies every 30 minutes so that you know what I’m doing.” 

The elder picked up a piece of paper and a black marker and wrote ‘20 min’ in big letters, holding it up to Jaemin. 

“Okay, every 20 minutes.” 

The pink haired man inched closer to the couch where Jeno was reading a fantasy novel about vampires and werewolves. 

“Can you please say something to me? Please.” Jaemin said as he pulled on the sleeves of his black oversized sweater. 

Jeno’s mind was screaming ‘cute!!!’ but he held a stoic face, not paying Jaemin any mind. The younger needed to know that his actions hurt him. It really hurt him to the point where he couldn’t trust him anymore to go anywhere without him. 

He let out a defeated sigh. “I’ll be going now...” he said as he walked to the front door and closing it carefully behind him. Jeno stared at the locked door, feeling lonelier than he could’ve ever imagined. Being mad at Jaemin was so hard when all he wanted to do was cuddle and kiss him.

Doing this was like a double-edged sword.

“See you later.” He said to an empty house.

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

“He won’t talk to me Haechan! I said that I was sorry so many times that I lost count.”

“Yeah, well, what you did was fucked up. Even though he has sex with other people all the time, it’s just work, you know? Are you sure that you don’t have any feelings for Lucas?”

“No! Not at all. He was literally just a piece of meat to me at that moment and I told him exactly that before we fucked.” Jaemin said, groaning in frustration. “I’m realizing that what I did was wrong now. I should’ve never called Lucas in the first place. I’m so fucking stupid!”

Haechan rubbed circles on Jaemin’s back as he banged his head on his hands in frustration. “You’re not stupid. You just made a bad choice. Are you guys even dating? You and Jeno?”

“Yes, we’re dating...I think. We don’t use labels. It’s complicated I guess...I just can’t believe that he won’t talk to me! It’s been a week.” Jaemin whined. “Sometimes I wonder why he’s even with me. He’s so beautiful and just…amazing. I’m just average, I guess. I don’t know.” He said, sipping his glass of water.

“Nana, there’s a reason why he wants to be with you. You understand him, and you took the time to get to know him. He even feels comfortable around you. I’ve known him for years now and he has never mentioned anything personal. And you’re not just average, you’re gorgeous.” Haechan said before ruffling Jaemin’s pink hair, causing his bangs to hang in front of his eyes. 

“Lee Donghyuck! Stop it” Jaemin pouted, leaning away from the redhead. He was messing up his hair that took thirty minutes to style.

He could feel his ears burning up. It was only once in a blue moon when the redhead compliments him and cheers him up. It was embarrassing. “And thanks. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you.” He muttered as he fixed his hair.

Haechan nodded. “Of course. Well, I also really want to know something Nana.” He said, grinning mischievously.

“What?” Jaemin answered, a little scared with a hint of nervousness. 

“Was he good?”

“Who?”

The other leaned forward, his mouth near Jaemin’s ear, conscious that his girlfriend might walk by and hear their conversation. “Lucas. Was the sex good? I mean you haven’t had sex with him in like-” He whispered to Jaemin.

Jaemin hit him, cutting him off. “I’m not telling you that!”

Haechan laughed. “So, it was good…” 

“Shut up! You’re so annoying. How are we even friends?” He said, flustered. 

He felt his phone vibrate, signaling that it’s been 20 minutes. He promptly opened his phone camera app and took a picture of him and the redhead, sending it to Jeno immediately.

“What was that for?” The other asked confused. 

“I have to send him a picture every 20 minutes.”

“Wow. Possessive I see...”

Jaemin ignored Haechan’s comment. “Can I just get a drink? Do you have anything? A nice cold beer sounds great. Amazing actually.”

“I’m not giving you any alcohol. Jeno would not only get mad at me, but also at you if he found out that I gave you some.”

“But Haec—”

“Actually, I just found a great nickname for you. Nana-chan! It really suits you...I wonder how you would react if Mark called you that!” Haechan mused as he laughed loudly.

Jaemin was not amused at all. He knew that the other was trying to change the subject. But maybe the redhead had a point. Not about the name, but the alcohol comment. 

“I’m going to head out now.”

“ _What?_ Are you leaving because I made fun of you? It hasn’t even been half an hour!” Haechan whined. 

“I’m gonna go home and make dinner. I’ll text you later.” 

Well he wasn’t lying, _technically_. 

He does, in fact, plan on going home and making dinner but he plans on stopping by the convenience store first to buy some alcohol. 

It was a great place since it was hidden in the corner of the street of his apartment. He inwardly smiled at the thought of drinking a bottle of cold sake alone at the table outside of the store under the moonlight. 

But before he made his way past the front door, he abruptly turned towards Haechan, his eyebrows knit together, “the next time that I see you, your hair better not be red. I’m sick of seeing that ugly color on you!”

“Fuck you! I’m not doing anything unless you do it yourself”

_So dramatic._

Jaemin rolled his eyes as he slammed his front door. “Fine. I’ll dye it 5 different colors, lets see how you like it” he muttered.

As he walked out of Donghyuck’s apartment complex he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his black parka. His heart sped up at the thought of Jeno texting him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


To his disappointment, it was his ex. 

“That’s weird, why is he texting me?” He muttered as he opened his messaging app.

**Lucas:** Hey, Nana...are you okay? I know that this it’s late, but you haven’t been at work, and I’ve been worried. 

Okay, this was even weirder than he originally thought. He has never texted him before. The last time he texted him was when they were dating, and that was months ago.

Jaemin ignored his text and deleted it. He has enough problems to worry about than to add him into the equation.

On his way back to his apartment, he went by the convenience store to buy a bottle of sake, maybe two. As long as he was by himself, it was okay, he thought. The moment he walked into the door, the familiar chime brought a warm feeling into his body. Even though he used to work at this place a long time ago, he still had great memories here. It was his place of comfort hidden in plain sight, tucked into the corner besides and alley. 

He immediately went to the third isle, grabbing the familiar green bottle from the fridge.

Jaemin walked to the counter with four cold bottles, sliding them towards the cashier who didn’t look a day above sixteen. 

“ID please?” The girl said monotonously, chewing on a stick of pocky. 

Jaemin mentally rolled his eyes, pulling out his ID and cash from his back pocket. He knew that he had somewhat of a baby face, but this was too much. 

“That’ll be 2500 yen.” 

“I already gave you it. It’s the exact amount.”

The cashier looked down, taking the stick out of her mouth before picking up the card. She eyed the ID closely, then glanced at him. “I apologize.” She said, uninterested, handing him his items.

Jaemin bowed as he stuffed the card into his pocket and grabbed his bottles of sake, walking out of the store, sitting at the tables outside. 

“This should be fine.” Jaemin muttered as he popped open the bottle, not even caring to pour it into a cup. 

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

Jeno didn’t think that he would be the jealous type. Especially not in his line of work. _Him? Jealous?_

It was actually laughable. 

But when it came to Jaemin, he couldn’t help but feel possessive. 

When they first decided to be together, Jeno immediately observed that other people also noticed the bright and beautiful Na Jaemin. He was easily the center of attention and brought everyone close to him with just a glance. They would speak to him once and instantly like him.

They were definitely different people. 

Jaemin didn’t mind making new friends while Jeno only wanted to be friends with a few people. 

The younger might’ve thought that he wouldn’t care about these things, but he was wrong. 

He was _so_ wrong.

All he wants to do is keep the younger to himself and place him into his pocket where nobody else can look at him.

It had been an hour since Jaemin last contacted him. 

He kept making up different scenarios of what could have happened in the past hour as he paced back and forth in front of the door. He knew that Jaemin wouldn’t hurt him again. 

But deep down, he wasn’t so sure. Their relationship wasn’t like a normal relationship. 

There weren’t clear lines of what they could and couldn’t do. What classifies as ‘cheating’ to them was rules that they made on their own. And it didn’t help that this was all new to him. Jaemin had experience with this type of thing. 

He thought that, maybe, they weren’t fit for each other.

_Or maybe I’m just too naive_ , Jeno thought to himself as he walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. Regardless of everything else, he needed this to work.

As he put the glass up to his lips the lock to the door turned. A slightly tipsy man walked in, singing the lyrics of a song. 

“Just pretty but not attractive at all, I'm different from them, I'm different! DDA-DDA-LA-DDA-LA-DDA-LA” He sang as he laughed, swiftly locking the door behind him, not noticing Jeno’s presence. 

“Where have you been?”

The younger stopped in his tracks, then smiled widely, walking up to Jeno, looping his arms around his waist. 

“My cute, sexy Jeno is finally talking to me! I must be dreaming.” He said as he leaned into Jeno more, loving the warmth radiating from him. 

But the elder wasn’t fazed. “Jaemin.” He said sternly while detangling himself from the younger. “Where have you been?”

The younger pouted, taking off his jacket and placing it onto the couch. “That’s not important.” 

“I don’t care if it’s not important, I still want to know.”

Jaemin grinned, his face flushing harder. “I don’t want to tell you. It’s like my secret place... it wouldn’t be a secret anymore if I told you, right?”

That just pissed Jeno off even more. The shorter man didn’t have the option of not telling him where he was or what he was doing. He forcefully placed his cup down and walked closer to Jaemin, cupping his face, kissing him. His soft lips locked onto his, his tongue exploring every inch of his mouth. 

When Jeno's hand reached down and squeezed his ass, Jaemin moaned into the kiss while gripping onto his shirt, pulling Jeno closer.

Sake.

That’s all that he tasted while kissing Jaemin. That eliminated all of the bars near the apartment. He knows him well enough to know that if he went to a bar, he wouldn’t order sake. It was way too light for him. But now he had the thought of Jaemin going to Lucas’s house, and them sharing drinks together burning in the back of his mind.

Jeno unlocked their lips and stripped him. If he wouldn’t tell him, he would force it out.

“Wait, J-Jeno are you sure about this?” The younger slightly slurred.

He ignored him and kissed him again while peeling off their clothes. Yes, he was sure. 

Was that even a question? The last person who had touched Jaemin was some other guy. He has been wanting to get rid of that fact for the longest time. He took a condom and lube out of the drawer next to him, thanking himself for placing these items all around the house for moments like these. 

After putting on the condom and squirting a lot of lube on his cock, he suddenly lifted the shorter male up. Jaemin let out a surprised shriek as his bare back hit the wall, his thighs now straddling Jeno in the air. 

This possessiveness was like a disease raging inside of Jeno. Even though Jaemin probably wasn’t good for him, he was addicted to him. He needed him, and no one else can have him. 

Jeno’s hips pressed against his. 

The younger wrapped his arms around Jeno’s neck as his cock slowly slid into his entrance with ease. “J-Jeno we just started talking again. I don’t know if this would help.” He stuttered, but then he found himself panting harder when the younger began to roll his hips harder.

Jeno didn’t bother prepping him.

He latched onto those sweet lips again, letting Jaemin get used to his thick length. Then, Jeno slowly rolled his hips, loving the small whines escaping from Jaemin’s lips. 

He hasn’t even started yet.

The elder smirked and gripped the other’s thighs tighter around his waist, dramatically increasing the speed into a rough pace, fucking him into the cream wall. Jaemin's nails dug into Jeno’s back, his leg dangling as the elder held onto his thighs. 

Jeno was grunting and groaning while digging his teeth into Jaemin's skin. Licking him, biting, and marking him like property that he felt Jaemin was to him. Maybe it was because of the effects of his past, but he couldn’t help it.

He poured all of his anger into this moment.

Jeno angled his hips perfectly because he found his prostate, and it made the younger scream. Jaemin’s cock leaked precum and his whole body trembled as he hit that spot perfectly, and in a sense, this was the part that Jaemin hated most. 

Because once Jeno has found it, he assaulted that spot mercilessly. It was endless pleasure.

“Ngh fuck, f-feels so good” Jaemin moaned as he littered red scratches all over Jeno’s upper back. His eyes rolled back as each thrust sent an electrical pleasure throughout his body. 

Jeno noticed that he was close and suddenly pulled out of him, released him from his hold, and bent him over the counter. 

That wasn’t acceptable.

He immediately slid back into his entrance, and Jaemin could feel himself so close. “Where were you Jaemin? Tell me!” He growled, slapping the younger’s ass, leaving a red mark. 

The younger gripped the counter and turned his head towards Jeno.

“I- I- mmhm!” Jaemin couldn’t form any words. It was no use, it all felt too good. 

“I was at,” he stopped mid-sentence and let out a loud moan as Jeno fisted his hair, pulling his head back while fucking him harder into the counter. “C-Convenience store!” 

The younger let out a string of loud moans, his whole body trembling as he felt the pleasure pool in his gut.

“Are you gonna cum?” Jeno asks softly, he began to slow his hips down.

Jaemin looked back to Jeno with tearful, hazy eyes, cheeks flushed impossibly. He couldn’t do anything but nod, too incoherent to form words. And not soon afterwards, he came first, drops of cum falling from his stomach onto the floor. 

The younger fell onto the ground as Jeno pulled out and stumbled backwards, taking off the condom filled with cum and throwing it into the trash. 

They panted hard, trying to catch their breaths. 

“My legs feel like Jello, you maniac. Keeping anything from you is dangerous for my ass.” 

Jeno laughed. “Why didn’t you just tell me that you went there?”

“I told you. It’s my secret place! Well, was. Now I have to find a new place...” Jaemin pouted.

“No secrets.”

“But I want-“

“Nonnegotiable. You should just stay at the convenience store.”

Jaemin’s cheeks turned into a deeper shade of red. “I want a secret place Jeno. I want a place where I can be alone.”

“Okay, how about this? Whenever you tell me that you’re going there, I won’t go. I won’t tell anyone else about the place either. Deal?” 

“Deal, I guess. But now it’s not my secret place. It’s Jeno and Jaemin’s secret place...”

_And that sounds perfect_ , Jeno thought. 

“You want a nice hot bath?” He asked. He’ll clean up their mess later.

“Yes, yes I really do. Can you help me get up?” Jaemin smiled as he put his arms up, waiting for Jeno to pick him up.

“...are you serious?” 

Jaemin scrunched his eyebrows. “Yes, I need help. It’s your fault anyways.” 

Jeno sighed and picked him up bridal style, hoping that the younger wasn’t lying just because he didn’t want to walk to the bathroom. He didn't mind either way. 

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

He sat him down on the toilet while he ran the bath, adding the vanilla bath bombs that Jaemin seems to love using. He always smells like them. It’s such a delicious scent. 

As soon as he was done preparing the bath, the other immediately sat in the tub, hot steam taking up the space in the room. 

“Come in!” He said with his dazzling smile.

He couldn’t believe that he called something so beautiful fraudulent. Even if he didn’t say those words to him that day out loud, he wanted to slap himself in Jaemin’s defense. Not only did the younger take him in, he still stuck by him even after everything that has happened. He was truly beautiful and kind, showing him nothing but gratitude. But he had drove him into addiction and punched him. Even though it was an accident he wouldn’t ever forgive himself for it.

Therefore, he didn’t need to be asked twice. 

Jaemin loved the way Jeno's long fingers glided through his hair, each strand getting doused with shampoo. They took turns washing each other up. The elder pouted as he sat behind Jaemin when they were done, wrapping his arms around him in a bear hug. 

There was no doubt in his mind that they weren’t dysfunctional. Especially with the baggage that he carries, and the trust issues that he has. 

He already had issues with trusting people before, but now they were mushed together with the new ones that have been formed. He desperately wanted this to work, but he needs to tackle his demons first. What they have is akin to glass. But the thought of Jaemin leaving him one day makes him feel like he’s dying. Maybe he should start seeing his therapist again, even if he was no help whatsoever.

They sat together in silence.

"I'm sorry Jaemin, for everything." 

The younger leaned into his embrace, and they stayed that way for a while. No words were needed to relay their emotions.

Jeno turned Jaemin’s face and showered him with kisses. Kissing his forehead, cheeks, nose, then repeatedly kissing his lips. “I missed you. Being mad at you sucked.” The elder whined.

“I missed you way more than you missed me.”

“Not possible.”

“It is”

“I beg to differ.”

“Jeno!” The younger said as he laughed.

“Valentine’s Day is coming up, do you want to do anything, boyfriend?” 

“Boyfriend?”

“Yes, is there anything wrong, boyfriend?” The elder asked with a smirk. 

His heart fluttered as Jaemin smiled.

_Ah, I’m falling deeper into him._

A shy smile crept onto Jaemin’s face as he turned his head away, the tips of his ears turning red. “No, nothing’s wrong. Shall we go painting? I know that you haven’t done it in a while. It’ll be fun. Maybe you can pick it up as a hobby?” He chirped. 

“My cute marshmallow.” Jeno pouted while squishing his cheeks. _Can anyone die from an overload of cuteness, because I might be in danger_.

“I’m not cute.” The younger said while his cheeks were squished, making him sound almost incoherent. “I’m changing my hair color after Valentine’s day.”

_You’re so cute_ , Jeno thought as he relaxed in the tub. “Painting sounds great. I know a place where we can go. But before that, we need to stop by my apartment.”

“What for?”

“I need to pick up a few things-”

“Wait! you said we right? Am I finally gonna see your apartment?” The younger said as he abruptly sat up wide-eyed, looking at Jeno, his eyes shimmering. 

“Why wouldn’t you? You’ve always been welcome.” 

Jaemin opened his mouth about to retort but then immediately closed his mouth, simply nodding as he leaned back against him again. 

“Shouldn’t we get out now? It’s been almost 45 minutes.” Jeno asked, feeling his fingertips get wrinkly from sitting in the water too long. 

“No, your request has been denied.”

“Jaemin, it’s been long enough.”

“Nope. I like being like this. It’s nice and comfortable.”

The elder smiled. “But wouldn’t it be better if we were like this under the covers, nice and dry?” 

“I like the way you think, but 10 more minutes.” 

“...” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not exactly happy with the writing, but I had to get this out before Valentine's day, and I had exams. The next chapter will not be released until I am 1000% satisfied (the sad life of a perfectionist). I post updates on where I am with the book on Twitter @xxSeashell


	6. Chapter 6

Jaemin pursed his lips as he stood in front of Jeno’s apartment. It was twelve p.m. now, and Jaemin had finally found some time off from The Red House. Although he had gone there earlier to cover Mark’s shift for the umpteenth time and desperately desired a soft bed to fall into, here he was.

Right after work he went home to take a shower and then came straight here. Jeno was known to be wishy-washy about this type of thing, so he quickly took him up on his offer before the elder could change his mind.

The anticipation was nearly going to cause him to go insane.

This was the first time that he has been formally invited to his apartment, and he didn’t know what to expect. He was practically begging the other to invite him over for _months_ now, and now that the time has finally come he was still so nervous. 

Would it be a bit messy inside or would it be empty as if he’s barely there? he thought. 

“Ah should I have called first?” Jaemin abruptly mumbled to himself, shifting his weight on his feet as stared at the door in front of him. His eyes slid back to the elevator, thinking if he should just come back another day.

_No, you’re already here,_ Jaemin thought. He brushed his shaky hand through his freshly dyed dark brown hair, gnawing on his bottom lip.

“It’s just a door, what's wrong with you?” He muttered to himself. He exhaled through his mouth then knocked on the door a few times.

When there was no answer, he went through his texts, entering the code that Jeno gave him, letting himself in. It was his first time coming here, and he didn’t want to feel like an intruder, but here he was walking straight in anyways.

As soon as the door shut behind him, he immediately stopped. Jeno laid on the couch in the living room, sleeping soundly. His black hair was splayed across the white sofa cushion, and his glasses were neatly folded on the small wooden coffee table next to him.

His leg was slightly hanging off of the couch, and Jaemin suddenly took out his phone to snap a quick picture to capture the rare sight.

A shy smile played over his lips as he put his phone away, taking in the apartment which was surprisingly clean. It was scarily clean from the spotless counter tops to the shiny white floor tiles. There was not a single speck of dust to be found.

Jaemin leaned his hand on the wall as he kicked off his shoes and placed them on the metal rack next to the door. A black marble table was visible from where he stood, and he saw a vase of white roses sitting on the table as well as a basket of mint candy. Everything was so spotless and carefully placed. 

He didn’t know if it was because he slept _elsewhere_ all the time or he was just a very, very clean person.

Suddenly Jaemin felt a bit self-conscious.

In the few weeks that the other has stayed at his apartment, he never once complained about his cleaning tendencies or lack thereof. Jeno wasn’t the type of person to flat out tell someone that type of thing.

He frowned as he blinked through the dim apartment, scratching his head, feeling a bit disoriented. If Jeno couldn’t even tell him something as trivial as that, then how could he expect the other to tell him the other things that was weighing down his heart? 

Ever since Valentine’s day, it’s been great, but he still has a feeling that somewhere deep down, Jeno doesn’t trust him.

And it hurts.

He paced over to the white couch and squatted down in front of the elder, gently brushing a strand of his hair from his eyes. “You know that you can tell me anything right?” The younger whispered.

Jeno groaned in response as he rolled, now facing away from Jaemin.

He pouted at the action, even though the other wasn’t conscious, it still didn’t feel nice. Jaemin ran his fingers through the other’s black, fluffy strands again, loving the way it feels between his fingers.

As he was softly massaging his scalp, a painting on the wall behind the couch caught his eye. He didn’t see it as he walked in since the apartment was so dim.

He padded over to the lamp sitting on the small wooden table, turning it on before walking up to the painting.

It covered the entire wall and it was absolutely stunning. He gasped loudly as he observed the wall.

A black and white self portrait of Jeno stared back at him. Half of his face was covered by his own hand, and gold brush strokes were highlighted in his eyes and hair. It was gorgeous, but a certain sadness lingered as he continuously stared at the painting’s eyes. Jaemin put his face closer to the painting, observing all of the little details.

Staring wide eyed at Jeno’s gorgeous face so very close, it was the only word resonating in his mind. As he was about to reach up and touch the wall, lean arms slipped around his waist, and a head rested on top of his.

The younger jerked in surprise before relaxing and turning around, locking his arms around the other as he pressed his face into Jeno’s shirt. A warm cotton scent filled his nostrils, and it was so comforting that he closed his eyes, allowing himself to completely fall into him. He missed him even though it’s only been a few days since he last saw Jeno. The elder had gone back to his apartment to finish packing.

“Awake already?” Jaemin asked softly.

Jeno hummed, cupping his hand around the back of Jaemin’s head. “You dyed your hair again?” He asked as he ran his long fingers through his dark brown locks.

“Yeah, I liked the pink, but I think that brown feels more like me.” He said as he reluctantly untangled himself from Jeno, turning towards the painting once again. As he was about to reach towards the wall again, Jeno swiftly grabbed his arm.

“You shouldn’t touch it, oils from your hand could get on it.”

The brown headed man nodded, placing his hands in the pocket of his black Adidas hoodie. “Who painted this?”

The room was coated with a light shade of silence and at the same time, Jaemin was brimming with anticipation.

Jeno thinned his lips, staring at the wall, “I painted it.”

Jaemin’s mouth gaped open as he turned towards Jeno, then back to the painting. _No fucking way._ “You painted this? I don’t believe you. It looks like it could be in an exhibition or something.”

He put his face so close to the wall that Jeno thought that he would accidentally lick it or something. The elder grabbed his waist and pulled him, the younger’s back flushing against him. Jaemin grunted at the impact. “What was that for? I just want to get a closer look.”

Jeno’s lips twitched upwards. “Yes, I really painted it. It’s just a hobby of mine, nothing to boast about. And stop getting so close to it you’re making me anxious.”

“I still don’t believe you”

“Na Jaemin. Why would I lie?” Jeno asked, a frown taking over his lips.

“Then show me some other paintings, you must have some, right? I demand to see some proof.” He declared as he stared back at Jeno, his eyes unwavering.

Contrary to his expectations, Jeno rolled his eyes, ignoring the younger as he went to pour himself a glass of water.

“Are you hungry? I don’t have much food, but I can order something for us.” He said as took a glass out from the cupboard, shuffling over to the fridge.

Jaemin cursed in Japanese then stomped towards Jeno, snatching the glass out of his hand, and slamming it down on the counter top. “Don’t ignore me! You must have other paintings, right? I wanna see all of them. You wouldn’t just paint them and leave it somewhere to collect dust, right? You should show it to someone. That someone is me!!”

Jeno abruptly grabbed Jaemin’s chin and pulled him close for a kiss.

Soft lips pressed against his without warning, before he could even take a breath. Jaemin just stood there dumbly, his hands half raised, his eyes still open and lips parted from surprise.

After a few seconds he closed his eyes, grabbing onto the bottom of Jeno’s shirt as he leaned in. Jeno kissed him painfully slow, his hands trailing up under the Jaemin’s black hoodie, causing his skin to tingle from his cold touch.

Jaemin gripped onto Jeno’s shirt and bit back a moan as the elder mouthed to the side of his neck, his soft lips tracing a path up and down.

The sweet, quick kiss was still lingering on Jaemin’s lips, and it was making him dizzy. He closed his eyes as Jeno pulled back, his eyes glazed with an emotion the younger couldn’t decipher.

“Go sit at the table, I’ll make us some tea.” The elder said unusually calm.

Jaemin nodded absentmindedly and walked towards the table and sat down, crossing his legs, begging little Nana to calm down.

“What the hell was that?” He muttered as tugged on his brown locks. If feels like he’s just been played. _You didn’t even put up a fight Na Jaemin!_ He sighed.

Why would he willingly hide such a beautiful talent away for no one else to see, it just doesn’t make any sense. He thought that the other would at least show him of all people.

“Do you have a nude painting of yourself sitting somewhere?”

“Only in your imagination” The elder sounded as he rummaged through the kitchen, filling up an electric kettle with water.

Jaemin rolled his eyes at the elder’s remark, resisting the urge to storm through the apartment and search for the damn paintings. He really couldn’t tell if he didn’t want to show him the paintings because he thought he was bad, or if he really didn’t paint it, and was just messing with him.

Most of all he wanted to see a piece of Jeno that no one else has seen.

From the corner of Jaemin’s eyes, he saw a white business card on the table. He leaned up from the chair and reached over, picking it up from the clean marble surface. A light sweet scent came from the card as he waved it around.

“Banyue Label Entertainment?” He read in Japanese. Where has he seen that name before? He definitely heard of this company before.

As he was racking through his brain, Jeno padded over to the white cupboards, taking out two mugs. He put a bag of green tea in each mug, promptly pouring hot water from the electric kettle into each.

“Do you want any sugar?”

“No, that’s fine.” Jaemin said lowly.

A small smile settled on the elder’s face as he walked to the table, putting the two cups on the table. He looked over at the younger, his eyes soft and bright as he brought his mug to his lips.

“What’s this?” The younger asked, his mouth pressed into a firm line as he held up the small card.

He knew that he shouldn’t be jealous over something as trivial as this, it was just someone’s business card. But the thing was that Jeno has never done something like this before. He has never brought home an item from the person he has slept with, and what’s more is that the other didn’t even bother telling him about it.

Jeno’s eyes panned over the card. “Nothing important.”

“If it was nothing important then you would have thrown it away, not leave it on the table!” Jaemin yelled.

Jeno drew in a deep breath. Composing himself as he set down his mug onto the table, closing his eyes momentarily. “This is your first time coming to my apartment and all you want to do is fight?”

He furrowed his eyebrows, slightly taken aback. “Can you just answer me honestly for once? The woman who gave you this, you kept it. You were thinking about calling her again, weren’t you? Fucking her once wasn’t enough?” He shouted at the top of his lungs, anger coursing through his veins.

Again, and again, he refuses to be honest with him. It was the most frustrating thing and it made Jaemin so angry to the point where he wanted to punch a fucking wall. But it also made him want to break down in tears.

Jeno ran his hands through his hair, picking up his mug as he walked over to his bedroom, seemingly unaffected by his accusations. As Jaemin felt like he was burning up, Jeno was more than composed, even a little cold. 

“Lee Jeno!” He screamed as the elder walked away.

“Argue by yourself.” Jeno responded as he forcefully slammed his bedroom door, leaving the younger alone in the living room.

Jaemin laughed in disbelief as he got up from the table, his mug of tea no doubt cold by now. “Fine.”

As walked away from the table, he staggered a bit, ducking his head down as hot tears suddenly came out from underneath his closed lids, rolling down his cheeks. He bit his quivering lips and drew in a sharp breath through his nose, desperately blinking the tears away.

He wanted to ask Jeno why he’s treating him like this, but at the same time he’s too scared to ask.

A small laugh escaped from his lips as he wiped the tears away with the sleeve of his hoodie. There was no use in crying.

Was he the only one feeling like this? Jaemin sniffed, running his hands over the soft fabric as he pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, visibly regaining his posture.

He plopped down on the white couch, pulling out his phone to search who the hell this evil woman was. There was no point in leaving his house now anyways, he had to go run some errands close by later.

After a quick Naver search she showed up.

“Fuck, she’s pretty” Jaemin cursed. He was hoping that she’d be some ugly old woman, but it turned out to be the complete opposite.

He couldn’t even compete with her visuals. She looked like a slightly older version of the Korean idol IU.

“Nashikimi Yumi, CEO of the Tsukishima corporation. Top investor of Banyue Label Entertainment.” Jaemin read.

Banyue! He suddenly leaned up from the couch as his memories came back to him. Brand ambassadors of Gucci, Chanel, and Shiseido come from this label. Only top models, actors, and singers are from this company. _How the hell did I forget?_ Jaemin thought _._

“Jeno!” He yelled as he whipped his head towards the bedroom door.

“Lee Jeno!” He shouted again, but still no response. 

Jaemin huffed as the door remained shut. “If you don’t come out now, I’ll call the number on the card!”

Not even five seconds later, Jeno suddenly emerged from the room, quickly pacing towards Jaemin, snatching the card from his hand.

For the first time today, Jeno looked genuinely agitated. It wasn’t even because of him, but because of the card. Somehow, that fact made him even more angry.

“Oh, so now you come out?” The younger exasperated.

He really wanted to kick him in the balls right now, but he put all of those emotions into a bottle and threw it into the distance. “Why didn’t you tell me that it’s from _the_ Banyue?”

“Like I said, it’s not important.”

“Can you stop lying to yourself? If you would’ve told me that someone gave you this card in the first place, then we wouldn’t even be in this situation right now.”, he explained before continuing, “she gave you this card because she wants you to be in Banyue, right?”

The elder absentmindedly nodded, adjusting the glasses on his face.

Although Jeno was older than him, he was still childlike in so many ways. He hides his emotions, runs away when faced with anything stressful, and never listens. But it was also the reason why Jaemin had liked him in the first place.

“Well, you should give them a call then. What are you waiting for?”

Jeno furrowed his eyebrows, a look of confusion coating his face. “You didn’t want me to call her, and now you want me to call her. Can you make up your mind?”

“I’m more concerned about why you haven’t called her yet. It’s Banyue! They scouted you, Lee Jeno, and you left in on the table? You could finally quit prostituting and work with them instead.”

“That’s never gonna happen.” Jeno laughed in disbelief.

“Why the hell not?” He shot back.

“I’m a prostitute. I have always been a prostitute. Do you think that they’ll let a prostitute into their company?”

“That person who gave you this card, you fucked her right?” Jaemin pointed out mildly and Jeno averted hiss eyes, nodding slightly.

“She’s a top investor and she gave you this card. This means that she doesn’t care. And if she doesn’t care, then Banyue wouldn’t care either since they need her money.”

“Jaemin, I really can’t—”

Jaemin inwardly sighed as the man in front of him. He was going to drive him completely insane one day.

“Jeno can you just trust me?” The younger said as he walked up to Jeno before continuing, “I believe in you and I know that you don’t want to do what you’re doing now forever. Forget about your brother, forget about the Red House, and just think about you right now. Don’t let this opportunity go away.” Jaemin said before giving Jeno a light kiss as a seal of support.

Jeno leaned down towards Jaemin and kissed him again, gripping his jaw and tilting his head lightly, taking advantage of Jaemin’s lips parting in surprise to slip his tongue past them.

Their entire surroundings seemed to disappear as Jaemin felt the action send a sharp spike of heat to the pit of his stomach. A low groan sounded in the younger’s throat as Jeno wrapped his hands around his waist, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.

Jaemin moaned at the sudden pull, and the sound was swallowed by Jeno’s invasive tongue, sliding over his. He tasted so addictingly sweet, as if he just ate a piece of cherry candy, and his lips were so soft that he felt like his legs were going to give out.

When Jeno pulled back slightly and exhaled, a dusty blush coated Jaemin’s cheeks, his breath a bit shaky. The sight of Jeno’s full reddened lips glistening, and his eyes staring deep into him made Jaemin blush even harder.

He pressed his hands on Jeno’s chest as he pushed him back a little. First, he was angry, then sad, and now he was all hot and bothered. It was too much for his body and mind to handle. “What was that for?”

The elder smiled, pulling Jaemin in again for a quick kiss. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it, that’s in the past. I already forgot about it.” The younger waved his hand, a bit dazed. 

Jaemin’s phone dinged, pulling him back to reality. He quickly pulled out his phone from his back pocket then bit his lip as he read the message. “Sorry, I have to get going but call me later. Call Banyue first! I mean it Jeno.” He yelled as he rushed towards the front door, pulling on his shoes.

“Who was that?”

Jaemin giggled. “No one special. Don’t forget about the call!” He said with a breathtaking smile before closing the door behind him.

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

“Nana!” Mark sang as Jaemin waltzed into the bedroom, plopping himself next to Mark, radiating happiness. “How did you get here so quick? I just texted you not even 20 minutes ago.” He asked wide-eyed.

Jaemin glanced over the others unpacked luggage beside his closet, then smirked knowingly. “You just got back and the first thing that you do is text me instead of settling in?”

Mark clicked his tongue in response, “answering my question with a question you aren’t slick Na Jaemin.”

Before the other left to stay at his parent’s house for two weeks, Jaemin used to come over so often that Haechan was starting to get jealous, demanding that Mark shouldn’t even think about stealing his best friend.

But it wasn’t even like that.

In some ways, Haechan was his boss so he couldn’t tell him certain things about what he was feeling, or the struggles that he had faced on a daily basis at The Red House.

He was afraid that Haechan would’ve told the higher ups about his problems and fire him. If it meant preserving his mental state, he would completely drop everything because that was the kind of person Haechan was. He was a hard ass most of the time, but he wouldn’t go through with something if it meant hurting Jaemin.

But he desperately needed his job at The Red House, so that wasn’t even an option.

Ever since he started working there, he automatically latched onto Mark. It wasn’t even intentional, it just happened.

Even now, he can’t help but latch onto him.

“Aww I know that you missed seeing my face” Jaemin’s rosy cheeks didn’t falter as he joined him, climbing onto the blue blanket, his eyes gleaming as he crushed Mark with his weight.

“So, knocking doors isn’t a thing anymore?” Mark chimed sarcastically since they both knew that it didn’t matter.

“C’mon I know that you missed me, I haven’t seen you in forever” He whined as leaned back, pouting cutely.

“Why are you so clingy today?” Mark asked as he writhed under his warm embrace, causing Jaemin to hug the other even tighter.

“What are you talking about? I’m always clingy with you!” Jaemin retorted as he comfortably rested his head on Mark’s chest.

“Ah!”, he said before abruptly sitting up, “I just came back from Jeno’s place and apparently he paints! He paints ridiculously well although I don’t know if he actually did paint it…” he trailed as he tilted his head. 

“What happened to your hair?” Mark suddenly interjected.

He scoffed. “I come back to your apartment and the first thing that you ask about is my hair?”

“Yeah and you came back to me with a different color, why did you change it? I liked the pink.” He said as he raised his hand, running his fingers through the brown strands.

Jaemin leaned away, a small smile tugging on his lips, “Stop! You’re gonna mess it up.”

At that remark Mark used both of his hands to furiously ruffle his hair, a sinister smile on his face as the brown locks now splayed all over the place, looking as if he had just woken up.

“What the fuck Mark?!” He screeched as he pushed him away on the bed, trying to fix his hair but failing miserably.

“Na Jaemin why are you always so loud? I’m trying to read and be productive unlike some people I know.” Yuta boasted as he slammed the bedroom door open.

He quickly turned his head towards the door, his hands slowly coming down from his hair.

Yuta flashed a bright, obnoxious smirk at him as he took in his appearance. He didn’t take a step past the door frame as he laid his eyes on the scene in front of him.

Jaemin wouldn’t be lying if he said that he didn’t feel a bit undressed under his gaze.

“Why does he look like he’s just been fucked?” Yuta remarked as he nodded towards the brown-haired man, walking up to him, and cupping his face in his hands as he squeezed his cheeks together.

Jaemin drew his eyebrows together and gripped the sheets as Yuta continuously held him. He felt his cheeks blazing under his hands. He couldn’t even lie, Yuta was extremely handsome, but it didn’t mean that he didn’t feel like punching that devilish smirk off of his face.

“Cute.”

Jaemin swallowed down a curse and pushed him away. “W-who are you talking about? Can you just go back to your room and read or whatever?” He stuttered.

“Oh, so Mark is the only one allowed to miss you?”

“I don’t like you.”

“I didn’t ask.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Like I said, I missed you.”

Jaemin’s frown deepened as he stared at the man in front of him. But with his rosy cheeks and messy hair he just looked like a cute, fluffy bunny.

Yuta openly laughed at the sight. “Maybe you should come to my room instead, we’ll have a lot more fun.” He grinned brightly.

“You motherf-”

At that, Mark got up from the bed and stood in front of Jaemin, lifting his arms to shield him from the other. “Okay guys that’s enough. Yuta, please, just go back.”

“Why are you always sticking up for him? I was the one being cursed at just now” Yuta whined.

Jaemin moved his head past Mark to look at Yuta, irritation creeping under his skin.

He was always like this.

He has only ever seen him at Mark’s place, but the other obviously had a thing for him since the first time that he came here.

Jaemin admits that he could come off as overly flirtatious sometimes, but Yuta was just a flirtatious asshole. He was pretentious, his ego was off of the charts, and most of all his words could crawl under your skin, leaving you restless for hours. And not in a good way.

Mark glanced back at the brown headed man’s disheveled appearance, a small smile slowly forming on his face, “Well…Jaemin doesn’t know any better.”

“You’re acting like he doesn’t have a mind of his own!” He retorted in Japanese.

Jaemin’s phone suddenly rang. It rung out jarringly as the familiar chime flooded his ears, filling the room with an obnoxious tone as the other two were arguing in front of him. He quietly hopped off of the bed, fishing his phone from his pockets, looking at the screen.

To his surprise it was a Facetime call from Jeno. He couldn’t even decline the call since it would look suspicious, especially since he specifically asked him to call later.

He internally whined at the situation. He couldn’t call at a worse time.

“J-hello? How’s it going?” He said loudly hoping the other two would get the hint, turning in a way that only the white wall could be seen behind him. It wasn’t as if he deliberately wanted to hide the two from Jeno, but he knew that he could be a bit possessive at times and he didn’t know how he would react, especially with Mark.

When he’s jealous, he becomes a completely different person, someone that Jaemin doesn’t like seeing.

“I just called Banyue and they said that I have to audition first. It’s at 9 a.m. tomorrow but I don’t want to go alone, so can you come with me?” He asked innocently.

Jaemin’s wide smile covered his face, “Of fucking course, you don’t even have to ask!”

At first Jeno smiled but then a visible frown was marked on Jeno’s face as he looked over at his appearance. “What happened to your hair?”

Jaemin licked his lips and averted his eyes towards Mark for a split second, his eyes narrowing into slits as if he’s saying _“I’m gonna beat your ass later.”_

The younger awkwardly laughed as he looked back towards his phone. “My friend…kind of just…ruffled my hair.”

“Okay I’m leaving, you’re on your own with this one Mark.” Jaemin heard Yuta say before he quietly left the room.

“Who was that?”

“That was Yuta, Mark’s roommate. He’s an asshole don’t pay him any mind.”

“Fuck you Jaemin!” Yuta yelled from his room across from Mark’s.

Jaemin scowled at the obnoxious voice, rolling his eyes. “You wish.” He muttered angrily, completely forgetting that Jeno was still on the phone.

“You’re at Mark’s house? Lee Mark?”

Jaemin slowly averted his gaze towards Mark again, his eyes pleading.

The other huffed as he walked over and stood beside Jaemin, waving his hand. “Hey. I swear that we didn’t do anything questionable.”

Jaemin widened his eyes and back-slapped Mark on the back of the head. “Why would you say it like that? Are you trying to make it look worse?”

“Ouch, what the hell did I say wrong?” He asked as he raised his hand, rubbing the back of his head.

“What the hell did I say wrong?” Jaemin mocked him in a singsong voice, “questionable acts? Just say that we were messing around.”

Mark stood there for a few moments, completely dumbfounded as he stared at Jaemin. “That sounds even worse!”

Jaemin pouted, but it ended up making his appearance even cuter unintentionally. _How would it be worse?_ He thought absentmindedly. It was the truth, it’s not like he was lying. As he glanced at his phone again he realized that the call had ended. “Shit. Everything is your fault! I hate you”

“Yes, just blame everything on me. It's not like I tried to help you” Mark rolled his eyes, making his way out of his room.

“Make me some food if you’re really sorry.”

A look of confusion crossed onto Mark’s face as he abruptly stopped and looked back at Jaemin, “But I’m not sorry.”

“Why are you acting so mean to me? You were nice and gushy when I first came in, I want that Mark back”

“He has been found dead, so you won’t be able to see him again. I’ll relay your condolences.”

Jaemin glared at Mark, his cheek twitching. “It’s like you’re begging me to beat your ass. Can you just go and make me some food?!” He said as he purposely followed closely behind him, used to the other turning down his demands before reluctantly giving in.

Mark sighed as he rolled his eyes, pacing into the kitchen, and opening up the drawer to pull out a takeout menu, “What do you want? I’m gonna order something”

A sunny smile took over Jaemin’s face as if nothing ever happened. Mark was so predictable sometimes, he thought. “Kimbap rolls, two seafood pancakes, and takoyaki.”

Mark openly glared at him. “I’m not calling two restaurants for Korean _and_ Japanese food. Pick one or starve.”

Jaemin huffed. “Fine, then let's go with Korean. I want kimchi stew too.” He suggested.

Mark hummed as Jaemin laid down on the couch, thinking about the earlier conversation. He didn’t know if he accidentally hit end or if Jeno ended the call himself.

If it was the latter, he was in deep shit.

His heart leapt in his throat at the thought of being punished, he honestly didn’t do anything wrong. With Jeno swirling through his mind he decided to just bite the bullet and text him first.

**3:21 PM**

**Me:** Are you mad?

 **Me:** Can we talk?

**3:34 PM**

**Me:** Missed call (3)

 **Me:** Baby :(

Jaemin sighed, throwing his phone on the other end of the couch. Maybe he’s just busy right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! A deleted excerpt from this chapter in [Jeno’s POV] will be posted on my twitter @xxSeashell. I post many things about the story on there such as updates, polls, and Q&A’s.


	7. Chapter 7

“Jaemin” he said, biting into his bagel. He shook Jaemin’s shoulder with his other hand, prompting him to get up.

Before Jaemin could figure out where he was, he whined as he rolled over, pressing his face further into the soft cushion.

Mark chewed quietly, watching the other continue to sleep on his couch with a bland expression.

“Jaemin wake up” Mark said impatiently, shaking the brown headed man’s shoulder roughly. “It’s 8:27 am, don’t you have to be somewhere? Get off of my couch, I have to leave the house soon.” Mark said as he held his bagel in his hand, chewing on his second mouthful of the cinnamon bagel.

At that remark Jaemin suddenly sat upright on the couch, a look of surprise etched across his face as he ran his hand over his face.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Why didn’t you wake me up?” He asked clutching both sides of his head and standing abruptly from the couch causing him to be a bit lightheaded from the sudden movement. “Mark, why didn’t you wake me up sooner?!"

“Do I look like an alarm clock to you?” He said as wiped his mouth, still chewing.

Jaemin thought that he was gonna throw up. He only had one job: go to the meeting with Jeno. He couldn’t even do that right. God, this was the absolute worst morning that he’d ever had. Jaemin sighed heavily, chewing on his bottom lip as he stared at the floor with a blank expression.

“Fuck, fuck fuck!” He yelled, standing up, a string of curses flowing out of his mouth. “I don’t even know where the meeting is!”

He suddenly snatched up his phone to see 8 missed calls from Jeno and 11 texts. Jaemin’s eyes widened painfully as he read through each text, each getting more urgent and impatient. A cold shiver ran down his body as he flung his phone back onto the couch, not remembering having it on silent.

He was completely and utterly fucked.

“If you want to shower, you can use the bathroom in my room. You can use any of the towels on the rack, those are freshly washed.” Mark said as he walked towards the kitchen, reaching for another bagel from the bag.

Jaemin nodded absentmindedly then dashed towards the shower.

“I can’t believe myself.” He whined as he quickly stripped himself of last night’s clothes. He turned on the hot water then practically jumped into the shower.

The last thing that he needed right now was wasting time in the bathroom. 

He washed his face first under the running water, using all of Mark’s products. Shortly after, the other walked in, rummaging through his items in the cabinet under the sink.

“I just left a toothbrush and a new pair of briefs on the sink; you can use it when you get out.” He sounded.

“No, I don’t have time just hand me the toothbrush and toothpaste now.”

“…are you serious?” He asked, turning his head towards the curtain.

“Does it look like I’m joking? Hurry up!” Jaemin said as he rubbed the soap filled rag all over his body, steam filling up the small room. It was a completely different smell from his usual vanilla scent, but at this point it didn’t matter.

Mark laughed weakly then stood next to the shower curtain, turning his head away as he handed him the small items. “What else do you need, Master Jaemin?”

“Shut up and search where Banyue is.” He said as he furiously washed his hair. This was the quickest shower in his life, and he felt like he was going to be sick from the thought of missing Jeno’s meeting. He wouldn’t have asked him to be there if he felt like it was unnecessary.

Jeno needed him there.

After quickly rinsing himself off, he brushed his teeth then stepped out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist as water dripped down his brown locks.

He slipped on the purple briefs then walked out of the shower, drying his hair with the towel, not caring about the light mist of water on his chest. 

“Time?” Jaemin asked.

“Uhm”, Mark said as he fumbled, taking the phone out of his pocket, “8:36 am”. “Banyue is in the Kinoshi prefecture, building 542. It’s about 25 minutes away if you take the subway.”

As soon as Mark said 25 minutes, a look of defeat was visible on Jaemin’s face.

He wasn’t even dressed yet.

He swallowed thickly, digesting his situation. There was no way that he could make it in time. Because he has never been to the buildings in the Kinoshi prefecture, it would definitely take him a few more minutes to find the place. Even if he took the bus, it would still take too long. 

Mark saw the way Jaemin was visibly breaking down as each second passed and wanted to reach for him. But before he could even move a muscle, the other began to cry.

“What’s wrong?”

“But I-” Jaemin started, tears welling up in his eyes.

“I’ll drive you there, don’t worry. But hurry up and get dressed we have to leave in 10 minutes max.” Mark said softly.

Jaemin pouted as a feeling of relief washed over him. He walked up to Mark, completely wet, and hugged him tightly.

“You’re the best” He whined, rubbing his cheek against Mark affectionately.

“Ew get off! I-I get it” Mark said, blushing slightly as he pushed Jaemin away lightly, looking down at the water over his clothes. “Go get dressed!”

As Jaemin quickly sifted through Mark’s closet, all he saw were hoodies and t-shirts. He cocked his head to the side as he pulled back the clothes one by one on the hanger.

“How can you even call this a wardrobe?” He asked incredulously as he trailed off. “Ugh, I don’t have time for this.”

He dropped his towel onto the carpet then scrambled towards Yuta’s room, bursting into the room, slamming the door against the wall looking for his closet.

This was the last place where he thought he would be but here he was, standing in Yuta’s room. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

“What the hell?” Yuta groggily said pulling his black comforter down as he sat up, rubbing his eyes.

“Go back to sleep this is all a dream.” Jaemin said as he opened his closet only in his purple briefs, his hair still dripping wet as he sorted through Yuta’s clothes. Although he hated the guy, he had to admit that he dresses very nicely.

“Who said that you could take my clothes?” His husky voice cracking a little as he stretched his arms.

“I’ll return it later, now go back to sleep” He smiled forcefully as he picked out a slim red satin dress shirt and black pants, hoping that it would look formal enough.

He slipped on the pants, then buttoned down the shirt, leaving a few buttons open on the top as he tucked the front in. The pants were a bit loose, so he ended up securing it with a belt. The shirt felt so nice that he honestly thought of just never returning it.

It’s not like Yuta would notice, he thought. Actually, this could be compensation towards the weeks and weeks of turmoil that he has suffered by the other.

Jaemin nodded to himself, justifying his thoughts as he looked at himself in the long mirror.

“You look nice, let’s go.” Mark said as cocked his head towards the left, standing outside of the bedroom door as he slipped on his jacket.

Jaemin hummed, looking down at his outfit and back up at Mark with a dumbfounded grin, doing a small spin. “I know right? I have nothing like this shirt in my closet. It feels expensive.” He said absentmindedly as he ran his fingers over the material, loving the way it feels on his skin.

“What are you doing? It looks weird” 

An embarrassed chuckle escaped from Jaemin’s mouth as he moved past the other, quickly pacing towards the living room to pick up his phone, then leaving with Mark.

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

As soon as they were in the car, he immediately called Jeno. It didn’t even ring once until Jeno picked up.

“Where are you?” The other rushed, it sounded awfully quiet in the background compared to the bustling cars surrounding Jaemin at the moment.

Mark was driving at a careful speed, trying to go as fast as possible without going over the speed limit. He zoomed past the buildings with ease, making sure that he wasn’t late to his own meeting after dropping Jaemin off.

“I’m so sorry. I’m on my way now. My friend is giving me a ride there, so I should be there in like 10 minutes” He said as he fluffed his damp hair in the car mirror, trying to get it as dry as possible but failing miserably.

Mark tapped on his thigh. “Jaemin I need you to open and read the directions on my phone,” the other interjected as he drove past a green light.

“Sorry I have to go, but I’ll be there soon just wait in the lobby for me okay? See you later!” He rushed before hitting end.

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

Taking a deep breath, he entered the building. Jeno was already waiting in front of the reception desk with his hands in his pocket. With every step that he took his stomach rumbled. He almost thought about going back outside, burying a hole, and staying in it forever.

He tucked his phone back into his pocket as he approached the other, glancing over the empty red couch across the reception desk. He cautiously passed by the security guards as he was greeted by some of them. He smiled back and returned their greetings. As he passed by them, he could see a badge hanging from a lanyard on their chest, and it took a moment to register that maybe he needed to get some sort of visitor sticker first.

Whatever, he thought. He really didn’t want to ask the guy and he was already 5 minutes late.

As he walked further into the lobby, he eyed Jeno. He was wearing an abnormally expensive outfit. The six-foot man had on a baby blue trench coat with a white turtleneck and white pants. He topped the look off with a gold Cartier watch, and suddenly Jaemin felt very self-conscious. He felt like a store-bought knock off compared to Jeno.

Jaemin’s hair was still damp from the shower, and he wasn’t even wearing his own clothes. He just hoped that it looked like it was his size.

He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Despite what he was feeling inside, he set it aside because this wasn’t the time to be swallowed in the pit of never-ending darkness.

He walked up behind Jeno, tugging on the sleeve of his coat.

“Thanks for waiting, I’m seriously sorr—”

“Save it. Let’s go, we already wasted some of his time.” Jeno sounded as he turned around, stuffing his phone into his pocket.

Jaemin stood there for a few seconds, dumbfounded, then quickly caught up to him. He followed behind the taller with his head down, entering the elevator. He leaned on the elevator railing as the door shut quietly in front of them.

The younger stared at Jeno’s broad back in contempt, then averted his eyes, staring at the shiny white floor tiles.

He understands that this meeting was important to Jeno, and that him being a few minutes late is not exactly _good_ , but wasn’t the elder overreacting? If it weren’t for him, Jeno probably wouldn’t have even given this place a piece of his mind.

So why does it feel like he doesn’t even want him here?

He woke up late, but does he know what he went through to get here on time? How he’s feeling in this very moment? If this was anyone but Jeno, he would’ve been sleeping in his comfy bed right now instead of showing up to this meeting at this ungodly hour.

He wouldn’t have been awake and running around Mark’s apartment at eight in the fucking morning for anyone else.

Jaemin took a deep sigh in attempt to silence the turmoil swirling inside of him, squeezing the metal railing as he briefly closed his eyes. Not now, he thought.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened silently.

Jaemin pushed himself off of the railing, his eyes scanning over the narrow hallway. There were huge frames of the signed artists hanged on the wall, most of the posters showing the covers of high-profile magazines.

His eyes shifted upwards as two young ladies in the same black uniform bowed, opening the big white doors for them. Jaemin briefly greeted the two women then followed Jeno quietly into the conference room.


	8. Chapter 8

As soon as the door opened, everyone glanced at them, and the old man at the end of the table unfolded his fingers, walking up from his chair to speak to Jeno.

“Lee-san, I’m glad you made it,” Juno said, smiling warmly as he shook his hand. The taller showed a small close-lipped smile, bowing slightly.

“No, thank you for having me. I’m sorry about being a few minutes late, I know that you have a tight schedule.” He said with a light chuckle.

Jaemin raised an eyebrow, it was as if they’ve been friends for years. How did Jeno even know the layout of his schedule, he thought.

“No need to worry, but we must get started now. Time is money, and money shouldn’t be wasted. Your friend can stay here while you and the photographer go to the studio down the hall. After we see the pictures we can talk some more.”

_Friend?_

A soft chuckle escaped from his lips as he turned his head away, then cursed internally at the action.

Jeno caught his reaction and quickly introduced him, “Wakeshi-san this is my friend Jaemin. Is it okay if he accompanies me into the studio?”

Juno’s smile faltered slightly as he observed him.

Jaemin clasped his clammy hands behind his back and averted his eyes as the old man looked over him up and down . He wanted to glance at Jeno for some sort of reassurance, but the other didn’t even spare a glance towards his direction.

“Actually, it’s okay, I’ll just go ahead and wait in the lobby.” Jaemin said as he quickly bowed, then turned around, exiting the door, and heading towards the elevator without looking back.

He hated to admit it, but it felt like the pressure was going to cause him to combust the longer that he stood in that room. He knew that it was going to be a meeting with high class people, but quite frankly, who knew that it would be like _that_? No one in that room wanted him there.

In times like these, he would usually call Haechan, just to hear the sound of his voice. It was a comforting tone, easily relaxing him. However, it was still early in the morning and he probably has some work to do. The last thing that he’d want to do is distract him, messing up whatever tasks he was doing for the day.

The cool air from the building seeped under his thin satin shirt, coating his bare skin as it stung a bit. His hands shook slightly as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, entering the elevator as he fumbled with his phone, quickly calling Mark.

If Jeno didn’t want him here, he could’ve just said so.

After trying to call Mark, it went straight to voicemail. He had called two more times as he exited the elevator, and the other still wasn’t picking up. He clicked his tongue in frustration as he dialed Haechan’s number. He really didn’t want to bother him, but here he was anyways.

Surprisingly, the other answered the phone after the first ring. Haechan’s sweet voice rang in his head as he exited the elevator, heading towards the lobby.

“Oh~ I wonder who this is. It certainly can’t be Jaemin since I was dumped from his top friends list.”

Jaemin laughed as he settled down onto the red couch, feeling all of his nerves leaving his body as Haechan’s voice flooded into his ears. He exhaled slowly, deflating a bit as he relaxed, closing his eyes briefly.

“Ah Donghyuck, I missed you.” He said in a surprisingly serious tone as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“What’s wrong?” He asked flatly.

“Nothing’s wrong, I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Jaemin, I can tell that something is on your mind just by the tone of your voice. Just let it out, okay?” Haechan prompted.

What good can come from hiding things? Absolutely nothing.

Haechan knew more than anyone just how bad he could get when he tries to keep everything in, so he couldn’t lie to him. Especially after Jaemin had promised the other.

Jaemin let out an inaudible sigh. I should just tell him, he thought. He drew in a deep breath in preparation to release all of the harbored feelings from his chest, resting his head back as he held the phone closely on his ear.

He didn’t know what it was, but he just let everything go. Jaemin spoke about the fight that happened the night he came from Haechan’s house, how happy he was to visit Jeno’s apartment, the card from Banyue, the fight that they had shortly afterwards, and what had happened this morning. Anything and everything that had been on his mind, even things as trivial as the run-ins with Yuta was told to Haechan.

It all flowed out so easily and Haechan listened, not uttering a single word until Jaemin was finished.

Somehow, an hour had passed by.

As Haechan was about to speak, Jaemin’s phone was suddenly snatched out of his hand, catching him by surprise. He yelped out angrily and immediately stood up from the couch to retrieve it from the intruder’s hand, but it was a fruitless effort.

Jeno abruptly ended the call as he stuffed the phone into the pocket of his blue coat.

“I was having a conversation. Give me back my phone!”

“No, you’re not getting it back,” He scoffed. “What happened to staying with me during the meeting?”

“You didn’t even want me there, friend.”

Jeno’s jaw tightened at those words, his lips stretching into a dangerous smile.

Is this fucker actually mad right now? He has no right to be mad in this situation, Jaemin thought. Anger was quickly boiling up in his stomach the longer that he looked at Jeno’s face. He stood close and stared at the other menacingly, then quickly reached into the pocket of the blue coat, reaching for the small device.

The elder took this moment as an opportunity to grab the shorter’s wrist, dragging him towards the bathroom stall at the end of the hall.

When they entered the bathroom, Jeno pushed him into a stall, causing him to hit his thigh against the ceramic toilet hard. He winced as he held his thigh, glaring at the other as he had locked the door behind them.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”

“Shut up!” The elder yelled as he grabbed a handful of Jaemin’s hair pulling his head back.

He yelped in pain as he clawed at Jeno’s wrist to let go. “Let go! It hurts!”

“You even smell like him. Did he fuck you last night, Jaemin?” He asked with no emotion, staring into the younger as if he wasn’t even worth a minute of his time.

_What?_

“What are you even talking about right now?"

Jeno clicked his teeth as he let go of the handful of hair, leaning back against the stall door.

“When I was gone for those couple of weeks, you were with him, weren’t you? Whenever I go to the Red House that’s all that they talk about. Jaemin and Mark, the two that seem to be attached to the hip, flirting in front of everyone, and always running off to be alone together. You didn’t answer any of my calls or texts today and you show up wearing someone else’s clothes, even smelling like them. So, did he fuck you?” Jeno growled accusingly, a warning tone covering his voice.

Jaemin folded his arms, disbelief coursing through his minds. “So, what if I was? So fucking what, huh? I even go over to his house whenever I want to! We’re just friends, Jeno.” He replied hastily, urging the other to continue with his accusations.

Jeno’s expression was lethal as he took a few steps closer to Jaemin, inching towards his face. “I don’t want you around him. Don’t go to his house, don’ t call him, I don’t even want to hear his name coming from your mouth.” He growled menacingly, glaring into the younger’s eyes.

“Are you jealous? Is that what it is? You’re mad that I spent time with someone other than you when you were gone? Well whose fault was that Jeno?! Tell me!” Jaemin snapped furiously as he shoved Jeno forcefully, his back hitting the door of the stall.

A flash of hurt crossed against Jeno’s eyes at the other’s actions.

“You can’t keep telling me who I can and cannot be around. It doesn’t work like that! You’re so controlling sometimes. He’s just a friend, and I can’t even…Why do you hate him so much, huh? Why!” Jaemin shouted in his face, stunned by the blanket of unfairness covering him.

Jeno suddenly shifted, grabbing Jaemin’s arms, twisting it behind him as he slammed him against the stall door. The elder flushed against his back as he held him down.

“Get off!” Jaemin screamed, writhing under him.

Jeno only tightened his grip, slipping his knee in-between Jaemin’s legs.

“I-I’m sorry Jeno. I shouldn’t have pushed you; I was wrong. Just please let me go.” The younger pleaded.

“Sorry? You weren’t thinking that a few minutes ago,” The elder scoffed at him. He decided to unbuckle the other’s pants, promptly pulling them down.

Jaemin’s eyes widened further, his entire form practically frozen and rigid as his pants were pulled down to his ankles. “W-what are you doing? We can’t do this here Jeno! I said that I was sorry!!”

“Well, you better stay quiet if you don’t want someone to hear you, Jaemin.” The elder grinned, taking his time to squirt some lube from the packet onto his fingers, glad that he decided to spontaneously put it in his pocket before he left his apartment.

“Please Jeno, I don’t want to-” His words were cut off by the sudden intrusion, the two fingers easily sliding in, a cold sensation running through his body.

Jaemin’s body jumped, his mouth a bit slack as Jeno thrusted his fingers in without pause, tiny sparks of pleasure running down his body.

“Don’t forget to breath,” Jeno whispered, stretching Jaemin wide as he scissored his fingers.

Jaemin’s eyes closed at the feeling, small moans leaving his lips as he arched his back, letting his head rest on the stall door as the elder added a third finger in.

His fingers could only go so far inside of him, and it left Jaemin throbbing with need, craving for more as he let out a straggled moan. He panted as the other pulled his fingers out, using his middle finger so circle around the rim teasingly.

With his other hand, Jeno lifted the younger’s hip up towards him, his hand pressing so hard that it would no doubt leave a bruise. He slowly moved him back onto his length, sliding into his ass. Jaemin let out a small sigh as Jeno was fully inside of him, his balls brushing against his ass.

He bit his lip to stifle back a moan as Jeno suddenly thrusted, his body trembling as he whimpered.

“Go faster, you asshole” He said breathlessly, and Jeno responded with a wide grin.

“I don’t know if you can take it” Jeno said under his breath, then promptly pumped back into the younger quickly.

Inaudible moans slipped past his lips, his breath hitching as he closed his eyes in pleasure. Jeno began to pump into Jaemin roughly, pressing his hands on his hips, causing Jaemin to let out a loud shriek accidentally. He quickly put his hand over his mouth, letting his head rest on the stall door.

Jeno shifted slightly, easily finding his prostate as if it was the first time.

He felt his face burning against the cold stall door. Jaemin jolted against him, balling his fist into his palm as it rested on the stall door, his knees shaking, letting out a string of moans.

The elder’s warm fingers gripped Jaemin’s chin, his soft lips pressed against his as he snuck his tongue in, their noses slightly brushing. Jaemin tasted so sweet on the elder’s tongue as he explored the warm cavern. The younger obediently kissed him back, his moans being swallowed by the elder. Jeno licked the younger’s lips as he pulled away, loving the way he tastes.

Jaemin did his utmost best to ignore the way his heart was frantically beating and the way his face got even hotter. He was already burning, and he didn’t need any more _issues_ in his way of controlling it.

“F-Fuck you, don’t kiss me I don-” Jaemin’s words became a garbled mess as Jeno slowed down, allowing him to feel every inch of his length, a flush spreading all over his body.

“You like it, don’t you?” Jeno whispered in his ear with a soft chuckle.

He bit his lip roughly as he reached his orgasm, afraid that anyone walking by the area would hear him. Tears rolled down as Jeno increased his speed again with no remorse, hitting that sweet spot each time. He cried out loudly, his mewls turning into incoherent sobs at the sensation.

Hot cum spilled out of his ass as the elder pulled out, and Jaemin leaned against the stall door to catch his breath, thankful that no one had walked in.

He laid there for a few moments, his bangs sticking to his forehead, his chest heaving rapidly. He felt complete spent. Who knew that holding in your moans could be so tiring? And he told Jeno not to do this here, of all of the places. What if one of those old men walked in and saw them?

He acts so…so careless! Jaemin thought. Not only was he careless but he always does this. They always fall into this cycle whenever he leaves his side for a few days.

Always. Always humiliated and left bruised because of the other’s trust issues.

“Hyung why don’t you trust me? Do you know how many times we’ve been through this? It hurts me. It hurts so bad.” Jaemin sniffled, choking back a sob.

The bruises on his waist and thigh hurt like hell, and he probably had some scratches on his stomach. But most of all, his heart was in pain.

He bit his lip until it drew blood. He would rather be in more pain than for Jeno to see him cry. He was tired of crying.

“I’m sorry” Jeno whispered.

“I’m tired of hearing that. Keep your sorry’s, I don’t care. I’m leaving” He said as he reached down to pull up his pants, zipping them up before stumbling out of the stall. He barely made three steps before his knees buckled beneath him, causing him to fall.

The elder immediately wrapped a hand around his waist to catch the shorter, steadying him. “Jaemin, I never felt this way about someone. I just…I don’t want to lose you. I just can’t stand the thought of you being with someone else.” He said quietly before continuing, “wearing someone else’s clothes, and sleeping over their house? You haven’t even done that with me, your boyfriend. Do you know how that looks in my eyes?”

Jaemin sighed painfully, removing Jeno’s hands from his waist as he faced him. “Can you just trust me? Please that’s all that I need from you.” He begged, his eyes pleading.

Jeno stared at him for a brief moment, the silence nearly suffocating the younger.

“…I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises.”

Jaemin nodded then slowly averted his eyes as he shook his head in disbelief. He turned around, leaving Jeno standing alone as he walked towards the door, stopping as he reached for the handle.

“Jeno…I don’t think that I can do this anymore. You won’t talk to me, you won’t tell me what happened in those few weeks that you went missing, and you act like a completely different person now. And I- I can’t keep doing this. Unless you sort yourself out I-” Jaemin breathed, his voice strained as he turned around to look at the other. His tone dripped with tiredness, spilling into his posture as he glanced away from him.

Jeno’s eyes widened in shock, all of the anger from earlier disappearing from his stature. He just stared wordlessly at the younger, pain flashing against his face. It was as if his words physically stabbed him.

“You…are you breaking up with me right now?” He whispered, stepping back a bit.

Jaemin couldn’t look him in the eyes because that’s what it was. The pain that was covering his body right now was something that he didn’t want. He didn’t want this anymore, it’s something that he didn’t deserve. The slick that was dripping down his leg right now was a reminder.

He nodded slowly, knowing that if he opened his mouth, his words would fail him. There was a choked, painful sensation in the base of his throat, making it painful to speak but he didn’t know why.

Suddenly the memory of them sitting on his couch, sipping on their tenth cup of hot chocolate played like a movie. The nervousness, but also happiness that he felt in that moment burned in his mind, and he felt like crying.

How did it come to this moment? What happened?

“You’re actually being serious right now? After all that we went through-” Jeno started but then suddenly laughed forcefully. Jaemin reached towards him, but Jeno flinched away from his touch. “Breaking up was always the last thing on my mind when it came to you. Because being around you, it was- It-” The elder let out a small sigh as he grabbed a fistful of his hair, looking as if he was going to breakdown at any moment.

The younger stood there, looking at him helplessly. If this were any other moment, he would run up to him and hug him, telling him that everything was gonna be okay.

But this wasn’t any other time.

“I’ll be better, Jaemin. I’ll try harder, I’ll do anything that you want me to just tell me,” Jeno whispered harshly as he stared into Jaemin’s red eyes, looking for any sort of emotion as his fingers dug into his palm.

“No, I can’t wait any longer…” The younger said as he hastily stepped back, ignoring every bone in his body that’s telling him to do the complete opposite. He headed towards the door, speeding out of the bathroom, heading towards the entrance.

He suddenly couldn’t remember what it was like to be held in Jeno’s arms, and he wanted to go back to feel it again. This type of desperation to want someone, and then have them completely shatter your expectations, it was heartbreaking.

The only feeling he felt as he walked through the halls of building was pain and regret. He wondered if he was making a big mistake. Should a breakup feel this _wrong_? He thought. It feels terrible, as if it shouldn’t have even happened in the first place.

As soon as he made it outside of the building, he realized that he forgot to ask Jeno how the meeting went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...that's the end of book 2 from the series My Beautiful Palette! Book 3 will be uploaded *only* when I'm done with it all. I'm not a big fan of weekly releases because I'm bad with being on time...ㅠㅠ
> 
> All updates on where I'm at with the book will be posted on my Twitter. As always, thank you so much for reading!! :D

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter for updates on new chapters: (@xxSeashell)


End file.
